Don't forget to laugh

When was the last time you really laughed out loud? Today, yesterday, last week, last month, last year even? Or can't you even remember the last time you nearly laughed your head off?

It occured to me recently I haven't laughed my head off for quite a long time, so you can imagine my sense of disappointment when I recently saw a comdian fully anticipating to do so, only to be a little disappointed that other than a couple of hearty chuckles and never felt humoured enough to lol, laugh out loud. As I gazed around the audotorium I wanted make sure it wasn't me but to my surprise I observed a rather hysterical individual who appeared to be having the time of his life. 

The woman to my right warned me before hand she had a tendancy to make noises on being amused and asked for my forgiveness before the evenings entertainment had begun. I was a little disappointed that she didn't live up to her billing as a laughing hyena, perhaps it was my inabilty to roll the shoulders that hld her back.

And it got me wondering if I had forgotten to laugh, had I forgotten to let my guard down, had I simply become to serious about everything?

If there is one thing that winds me up, it when somebody says, 'you look serious' or you looked very stern this morning'. It is maybe a little inapropriate to be smiling like a Cheshire cat when a colleague is praying  for the poverty stricken or an evil regime in Southern Asia. However the remark did enough to leave a mental note to oneself to not look so miserable when the next natural disaster occurs in the cold winter that lies ahead.

But it is not all that easy to laugh as a Vicar, much of one's time is indeed doing the things I signed up for which is death and dying and pastoral care of one's community and all the emotional implications that entails. It is an aspect of the vocation that is deeply rewarding but can bring great troughs of challenging situations, mental mind games, and enormously sensitive and emotional individuals who need someone to help themget through one of life's  most very difficult  challenges. Do they really want a Vicar who just bursts into tears with them? That's not to say one doesn't feel a great sense of sadness, becuase I most certainly do. Having the great honour to conduct a funeral for a family is really in all honesty one of the best things I feel I can offer as a priest. Being the man in control of the music, the context, the pace, the curtains, bring a uniqueness that is afforded to very few people, I can see the faces of all the gathered mourners and often I am faced with extrodinary grief and pain. That is most certainly not to be laughed at in any circumstances.

Caring for the bereaved is highly rewarding, there are no three kinder words a priest can hear after a funeral than, 'lovely service Father' unless of course you are are a woman! Seriously it raises just a little smile of acknoweledgment that it was done 'reet' as they say in Burnley and for that I have lot to thank my training incumbent for before he left me for another church and another Bishop so to speak!

And so I must remind myself not to forget to laugh even in the privacy of my study, or in my little sports car... Remember to laugh Father, remember to laugh. Trust me priests, worry, they take things on thier shoulders, they worry prayer isn't being answered, they worry about bums on seats. They worry that folk have stopped believing, they worry that 'Joe Bloggs' hasn;t been visited for far too long, they worry the world's gone mad, and they worry about themselves.

Of course that means we are just like everybody else then, with our long list of worries and how it's gone a bit serious.

And so this week I have tried my best to look for things to laugh at......it's been the richest of weeks but so far I laughed at the following.

1. A comedian called Kate Robins doing an impression of Kim Woodburn.

2. My puppy, Jasper chasing a leaf.

3. Dec on I'm a Celebrity.

4. Inapropriate Flatulence

5. Making the Verger jump out of his skin, from behind a curtain.

Not absolute belly laughs granted, but enough to sustain me through the dark times of winter and raise a reminder that among the difficult there should always be the undifficult. Taking time to smile, enjoy and see the lighter side of life. And to end, I always try to encourage those dealing with death to do the same, seek the happy times, search for the joyfulness, discover the photo's that make you weep tears of sadness becaause the event brought such happiness. By finding joy in the depths of difficulty it makes everything just a little bit more bareable, a little more managable, a little more hopeful that things will be okay.

When all hope is lost, it can be found, in the haziness of death, in the numbness of pain In times of adversity, remain hopeful, have faith, be strong, smile and laugh. Laughter is one of the greatest gifts given to us by God, if your struggling, dig deep, find it again as soon as you can and laugh until yo cry.

Till next

God Bless

Alextheanglican.

Don't forget to laugh.

Don't forget to laugh 

  

When was the last time you really laughed out loud? Today, yesterday, last week, last month, last year even? Or can't you even remember the last time you nearly laughed your head off? 

 It occurred to me recently I haven't laughed my head off for quite a long time, so you can imagine my sense of disappointment when I recently saw a comedian. Fully anticipating doing so, only to be a little disappointed that other than a couple of hearty chuckles I never felt humored enough to lol, laugh out loud. As I gazed around the auditorium, I wanted to make sure it wasn't me but to my surprise I observed a rather hysterical individual who appeared to be having the time of his life, clutching his stomach such was the joy.  

 The woman to my right warned me beforehand she had a tendency to make noises on being amused and asked for my forgiveness before the evening's entertainment had begun. I was a little disappointed that she didn't live up to her billing as a laughing hyena I felt rather responsible, perhaps it was my inability to roll the shoulders that held her back. 

 And it got me wondering if it really was me and I had forgotten how to laugh, had I forgotten to let my guard down, had I simply become too serious about everything? If there is one thing that winds me up, it is when somebody says, 'you look serious' or you looked very stern this morning'. In my defence it is maybe a little inappropriate to be smiling like a Cheshire cat when a colleague is praying for the poverty stricken or against an evil regime in Southern Asia. However, these remarks always do enough to leave a mental note to oneself to not look so miserable when the next natural disaster occurs in the cold winter that lies ahead. 

 But it is not all that easy to laugh as a Vicar, much of one's time is indeed doing the things I signed up for which is death and dying and pastoral care of one's community and all the emotional implications that entails. It is an aspect of the vocation that is deeply rewarding but it can bring great troughs of challenging situations, mental mind games, ministering to enormously sensitive, emotional grieving individuals who need someone to help them get through one of life's most very difficult challenges. Do the grieving family really want a Vicar who just bursts into tears with them? That's not to say one doesn't feel a great sense of sadness, because I most certainly do, my grief for the families grief is a complicated and difficult emotion to deal with. 
Having the great honour to conduct a funeral for a family is really in all honesty one of the most humbling and rewarding things I feel I can offer as a priest. Being the person in control of the music, the context, the pace, the curtains, brings a uniqueness that is afforded to very few people, I can see the faces of all the gathered mourners and often I am faced with extraordinary grief and pain. That is most certainly not to be laughed at in any circumstances. 

 Caring for the bereaved is highly rewarding, there are no three greater words a priest can hear after a funeral than, 'lovely service Father' unless of course you are a woman!  Seriously it raises just a little smile, a small moment of acknowledgment that it was done 'reet' as they say in Burnley and for that I have lot to thank my training incumbent for before he left me for another church an another Bishop so to speak!

 And so, I must remind myself not to forget to laugh even in the privacy of my study, or in my little sports car, remember to laugh Father, remember to laugh. Trust me priests, worry, they take things on thier shoulders, they worry prayer isn't being answered, they worry about bums on seats. They worry that folk have stopped believing, they worry that 'Joe Bloggs' hasn't been visited for far too long, they worry the world's gone mad, and they worry about themselves. 

 Of course, that means we are just like everybody else then, with our long list of worries and how it's all gone a bit serious. And so, this week I have tried my best to look for things to laugh at......it's not been the richest of weeks but so far, I laughed at the following. 

 1. A comedian called Kate Robins doing an impression of Kim Woodburn. 

2. My puppy, Jasper chasing a leaf. 

3. Dec on I'm a Celebrity. 

4. Inappropriate Flatulence 

5. Making the Verger jump out of his skin, from behind a curtain. 

 Not absolute belly laugh’s or comedy gold granted, but enough to sustain me through the dark times of winter and raise a reminder that among the difficult there should always be the un-difficult. Taking time to smile, enjoy and see the lighter side of life.  

And to end, as someone who has suffered the loss of a loved one, I always try to encourage those dealing with death to do the same, seek the happy times, search for the joyfulness, discover the photo's that make you weep tears of sadness because the event brought such happiness. By finding joy in the depths of difficulty it makes everything just a little bit more, bare able, a little more manageable, a little more hopeful that things will be okay. 

 When all hope is lost, it can be found, in the haziness of death, in the numbness of pain in times of adversity, remain hopeful, have faith, be strong, smile and laugh. Laughter is one of the greatest gifts given to us by God, if you are struggling, dig deep, find it again as soon as you can and laugh until you cry your blooming head off! 

Till next time 

God Bless 

Alextheanglican. 

Talking Heads

I have always been intrigued by media, television and radio, I recall a time when the family would come together shortly after tea to chill out on the sofa and watch the soaps and entertaining family shows which would keep us mildly entertained until bed time. These days the family lounge has become more of a drop-in centre where folk come to touch base, ask what's for tea, or say cheerio before entering the land of nod. It once was a place where the widescreen technology could certainly guarantee the full and undivided attention of it's customer unlike now where it is little more than a minor distraction. These days it is most unusual if the young 'viewer' in 'our' house is unaccompanied. The youthful hands that once gripped a loving teddy bear or a book has been replaced by the media devices  of multi media moguls like Apple or Samsung. These blue tooth companions are never far from sight, never left long enough to go cold and often become a parallel world that ignores the one we often struggle to negotiate in the 'real' timeline of life.

As a middle aged man who wreaks of nostalgia part of me craves the day when our graveyard cupboard of board games and pastimes are resurrected. I live in hope that the mini Chess Set and Scrabble board game becomes nothing more than a prop for the weightier classics like Cluedo, Monopoly and Pictionary.  I live in hope that another Christmas of 'family' time will see some of the old classics like Mousetrap and Buckaroo rise from the dead stirring us into family unity, but sadly to no avail. After managing thirty minutes of modern family togetherness via a rather limp board game attempt at The Chase, the kids went there separate ways and descended into a yule tide evening of Snapchat, Facebook and Instagram whilst outdoing one another with loud music of the non seasonal variety with not even a sniff of Johnny Mathis or Noddy Holder.

As a man of a certain vintage, I suspect I am no better than the youth in my proximity, I have three sources of entertainment for the dog walk. Phone, Ipod or DAB radio, sometimes  or usually I am so unsure what to listen to I take all three, reluctant to leave the phone behind in-case I am needed like the PM in a moment of crisis which I never am. I am reluctant to leave the radio behind in case the battery fails on my ipod which it never does and I take the ipod in-case I get bored with Talk Sport or LBC News.

I don't think I check anything as much as my phone ! My phone automatically bleeps with updates from the outside world but such is my obsession I have brain trained myself to not trust technology checking devices every time I am in the vicinity of multi media. I check for emails from the Vicar, texts from the kids, and missed calls from The injury specialists who only deal in No win, No Win court cases.

On average I would say I get about 10-15 emails a day, I would say 13-14 are useless, unimportant tripe! Offers from Groupon, Tesco, Amazon. Spam from fake Microsoft accounts, Paypal account inquiries (I don't even have a Paypal account) and holiday offers for a two night stay in the Cotswolds which will include a cooked breakfast and a roaring electric fire. I get friend requests from people in New Guinea, I get followers on Twitter from dating agencies and American churches. I can't look at a holiday online without it popping up at me from every single available internet angle. I get reminders from Facebook what I did four, five, six years ago, I'm told of peoples birthdays who I haven't seen for over thirty years. I'm invited to trace my family tree and I'm reminded if I haven't posted for 28 days. oh and I get discount incentives from Waitrose, Laura Ashley, and King of Trainers on my first order. If only I could afford to shop at Waitrose, it just goes on and on.

Today I watched a cow get pulled out of water, it popped up on my Facebook Feed, It has been watched over 3 million times, A cow getting pulled out of water got three million views, can you believe it? Also this week I have watched an upside down dog sleeping in it's owners bed. I have observed a marriage proposal at a Basket Ball match in America and I have watched a man in Alaska suffer a severe injury skiing off an icy roof. I have not actively sought this kind of entertainment, it's just there as I'm scrolling through multi media over my breakfast cup of Yorkshire Tea and my 'Farm Foods' Hot Cross Bun.

Being a religious person, I am frequently inundated with quotes, Bible quotes, quotes for life, quotes of well being. And of course I join in as a regular Facebooker, Facebook so kindly  reminds me, four years ago I posted a picture of a candle, with a quote ! I am as guilty as the next person. Such as the individual who likes me to 'like' and look at photographs of their Sunday dinner that mother has made, or the people who post bucket loads of holiday snaps in Pontins Prestatyn, simply stating  'Paradise'.

Well multi media is certainly not Paradise as far as I'm concerned. The Daily Mail news website lists it's top ten most read stories, In this modern world a most read story recently is the ever changing size of Katie Price' tits or boyfriend.  That was a most read story in the UK despite all the real shite going on in our world right now. This is a full seven places higher than the atrocity that is going on in, Ukraine world whilst sparing a thought for fucking Yemen and Afghanistan which rarely get a mention anywhere these days.
The digital world has gone truly bonkers, we are consumed by a narcissistic news reel and fed some of biggest load of nonsense we could possibly imagine. As I sometimes sit in a quiet church I feel so disenfranchised with the digital world but yet equally I am so caught up in it. This very space, this blogging digital vehicle for expression and thoughts is just an example of the world we live in. But at least, hopefully I have a grasp on the 'other' world but I do worry that our young people are slowly but surely losing the comprehension of tradition and values.

The band, Talking Heads wrote a wonderful piece of music that I have on audio cassette and also on vinyl, and more recently on CD and MP3 and I tunes, entitled 'Were On The Road To Nowhere'
I truly hope that were not. Hopefully we might be being led into calmer waters, Brexit, Covid 19, Ukraine, Katie Price, it get's a bit much. 

Hang in there Easter is coming, hope is never far away, the stones will role away and all will be well soon.

Till next time
AlextheAnglican.

Humility in the Humour.

Humility in the Humour

Jesus came so we might have life in abundance and it certainly feels like that right now after being ordained priest in the summer. With experience inevitably comes confidence, that feeling of, I’m getting the hang of things only to be brought down to earth with a mistake here or a hiccup there is a nice but essential part of a minister learning the ropes through mistakes and opportunities.

I have to say that as a newly ordained priest I am having the time of my life almost to the point of worrying that things are going just a little bit too well and it’s only a matter of time before I fall back to earth with crashing thump  and a massive sense of disappointment. Maybe this is also due to experience and that realization that good things don’t and can’t go on forever and ever, or can they?

I feel extremely privileged in my vocation and I wake up most days with lots to do and lots to be done. I get enormous pleasure from the links I have made in the parish, I adore going into school and getting such positive vibes when I have assisted a child in spelling a word correctly or listening to a child’s irrelevant event that may have occurred outside school hours and has nothing to do with the topic of the hour.

Being able to celebrate at the altar is also the most joyous thing to be responsible for. Feeling highly emotional at the most peculiar of times is such a beautiful and special moment that makes me not ashamed but deeply proud to be able to serve God in this very special way and is highly rewarding for a newly priested Anglo Catholic clergyman.

Walking the families through the trauma of a funeral, Baptising babies with unusual names, giving old ladies lifts to the post office, running dementia friends events, clearing away dishes at the community center, making arrangement for marriages, meetings, lunches, services, pastoral visits are just ingredients that make the job an absolute joy and to do and to do it in the name of Christ just adds to the colour and flavor of this unique work.

And whilst all this work is going on there is the return to comedy and the little bit of madness that it brings to my life.  It has been a really great thing to do. It takes me back to a period of my life that I thought was well in the past, but the biggest difference is I wasn’t a priest back then.

However like I said with experience come’s confidence and I am confident enough to face the challenges that come with trying to make people laugh. Laughing is not everyone’s cup of tea! and one person’s funny bone can be someone else’s Achilles heel.  But experience encourages me not to worry. I don’t mind if someone doesn’t think me or my comedy partner are funny, if they don’t think we are funny then they are most certainly correct. My biggest concern doesn’t come with worrying if I am funny or not, it comes from if I can be taken seriously or not. Worrying that people think one is so wrapped up in silliness that all serious credibility is lost. I think being a ‘funny’ vicar is totally not what has been experienced in days gone by and by some old diehards or conservatives what is not expected going forward.

However I must remain true to myself, people often spend ridiculous periods of their lives aspiring to be ‘something’ without being ‘somebody’. Somebody created by God with a unique DNA a unique personality and a uniqueness that should never be compromised. In years gone by I have been guilty of compromising my DNA and being unhappy or ultimately disappointed.

And so now in late 2016 I feel relatively at ease ‘trying’ to be ‘funny’. It sustains me and makes me creative, It makes me laugh and sometimes it makes me cry. It makes me happy, not because people pat me on the back, or recognize me from an article in a paper or a video online. But it makes me happy because it opens the church to something different, it breaks down stereotypes, it dispels myths and it displays that if you like it or not, Christians and particularly clergy are human beings who laugh and cry like the rest of humanity.

I don’t crave fame or fortune and I don’t crave recognition or reward, I have no ambitious dreams to become anything other than a competent Vicar, a decent leader for the church and a respected and trusted member of the community.

So with experience comes confidence and so the comedy clergyman will continue to be himself and will continue to find humor wherever possible. He will take what comes with it in his stride, he will never absolve himself of his responsibilities. He will never expect more than should be expected and never dwell too long on disappointments that may come his way. But he will stay focused on the whole picture also remember that when he need to be serious, he will be serious and appropriate, and compassionate, and loving in the name of Christ until he calls me home.

Love as always

Alextheanglican

Find our comedy on You Tube   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvtXy1o70jBgYrmdLfZEVfg

Find us on Twitter at @jacandkrac

LIVING ON THE EDGE

This blog comes after some rather sad news that 3 Roman Catholic churches in Burnley of which I do not represent have been earmarked for closure due to falling numbers and resourcing issues. Also in the news today the Bishop of Burnley, my boss reported his reasoning why much of Burnley voted to leave the European Union in the recent referendum. 

The Burnley estate mentioned in the report is that of Stoops Estate, Burnley’s most deprived estate and just across the road from where I reside. For the last twelve months I have travelled through Stoops to the next parish where I work at St Matthew’s as the curate. Sometimes I travel by car and sometimes on foot. It has the feel of something from the popular Chanel four drama Shameless, kids in large numbers playing out, teenagers on top of bus shelters, children smoking on the way to school, drug dealers frequenting street corners, scrap dealers trading from front gardens, wind ravaged union jack flags, motorcyclists without helmets, aggressive looking canines, and individuals who look like they are living on the edge. Probably wrong to judge but this is what I see.

Although I live on the edge of the infamous estate I don’t officially work there, and yet I live in the vicarage for the Parish Church that is even closer to the edge of Stoops. I live just over the road in my lovely four bedroom house provided by the Church of England as a base for me to live and work in my public ministry. The church over the road has one service a week at 6pm on a Saturday and I don’t know how many people attend because it’s not my patch and don’t want to be seen as interfering and so stay well away.

                                     St Marks, Parish Church for Stoops Estate

Living in Burnley most of my life has been a real pleasure and it has been lovely learning and hearing stories how churches in Burnley were absolutely the heartbeat of the community it served. Some of the old walking day pictures are quite fabulous, hundreds if not thousands of people joining together in a walk of public witness expressing their belief and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. Families dressed in their very best attire for a community day walking up and down the cobbled streets of Burnley provide some wonderful historical moments of nostalgia for some of the elderly people I talk with as the recollect their lives as young Christians.

When reading the report about the closing Roman Catholic churches I was struck by some of the comments made by individuals who had written comments about the closures. It appears that some people believe that the ‘Muslims’ should be held responsible for the decline of these churches and it only a matter of time before they are converted to Mosques, in a dangerously provocative suggestion that Muslims are on a mission to wipe out the Christian community of East Lancashire. What utter bile!

I am a far too insignificant clergyman to give 100% clarification why churches are closing but I would hazard a guess a number of reasons are possible and most of them covered by professionals employed to analyse and predict when the last church door might slam shut at the last remaining church of England place of worship in the former cotton capital of the world.

An issue I face is I don’t want any churches to close of any denomination of any faith, I would like nothing more than the Parish church of Stoops estate to be bursting with families, thriving with community groups, fighting issues of poverty, supporting the elderly, preaching the gospel and baptizing new disciples. The fact is I’m not sure I would know how to do this, I have kids, but I’m not a skilled youth worker, I have elderly relatives but I’m not a skilled community operative but I do get upset seeing kids not fulfilling their potential, struggling to read and write, and I feel quite desperate at unsocial behaviour I see pretty regularly.

As I drive through Stoops estate, I always wonder what Jesus would do in this Eastern part of Lancashire, would he drive on through to affluent areas of town, or would he too despair at a community that appears not to be fulfilling it’s God given potential.
Would he worry about the closing churches, or would he be unsurprised that for whatever reason people had lost their connection with a beautiful place of worship because it offers nothing or very little to the community it was provided for? Or would he provide a miracle ensuring everyone believed in his existence?

Deprivation, declining churches and dying churches can be blamed on many things, finance, education, government, policies, drugs, hardship, etc. etc., but I feel the biggest single factor in the collapse of communities and churches is the loss of trust and faith in Jesus Christ and his single biggest instruction, to love thy neighbour.
And who can blame them, the seedy, vile, disgusting stories of abuse, physically and mentally, educating kids through fear and the fist is difficult to listen to and incredibly damaging. Alongside this the secular movement that just dismisses Jesus as the way and the truth is slowly but surely sucking the small faith out of anyone who dares to suggest they might believe in God.

And because of this many people see Islam as the single biggest threat to a ‘Christian’ world that they claim as their own, but tragically do not represent and do nothing to support or participate in. Traditional churches are without question at great risk and this announcement from the Roman Catholic Church today is a sad indictment of modern times.

Christians in England are under attack not from the horrendous sick minded terrorist that our Christian brothers and sisters suffer in Africa and the Middle East, but under attack from an, apathy for faith and apathy for loving ones neighbour and a lifestyle that has little room for prayer, reflection and old fashioned hymns and a boring sermon. And yet the irony id in places in the world of such extreme deprivation such extreme violence, such abject horror and abuse is where people turn to Christianity in great numbers. It is my hope that our church and our community don’t have to fall so close to the edge, so close to being wiped out that it becomes too late for these amazingly complex and reviled parts of Burnley.

As a former Manager I offer a limited skill base but a deep passion for Christ, an absolute insistence that for anything to prosper it has to underpinned by core Christian values. Not a political ideology, not a new government or a community afflicted by deep lying racist undertones and lifestyles that focuses on gain rather than giving. No matter where I am or where I will be Jesus is and will be my starting point. A church with a community that reflects a loving Jesus, and remembers him through Holy Communion and a safe place without fear of anything, particularly hell and damnation.

Black, white, straight, gay, muslim, Jewish, fat, thin, tall or small people that God created and Jesus loves is my fantasy blueprint for a brighter future  nervously along with a trust that whatever happens God is very much in control.
Till next time
Alextheanglican

PS find my comedy at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvtXy1o70jBgYrmdLfZEVfg