See You on the Other Side.

See You on the Other Side

Little did I know when I was being escorted out of Edge End High school hall being told I was ‘too thick’ to sit the Math’s exam that I would be writing this blog today. Little did I know that when I ran away from a work colleague in 1987 who bullied me terribly did I think I would become a blogger! Little did I know that as I watched my children being born would I be writing from a Vicarage that belongs to the Church of England! Little did I know that as I died a slow death on a stage at a comedy club in Manchester did I know I would have just completed Morning Prayer a few minutes ago! Little did I know that when I was being punched to the ground by a ‘footballer’ who didn’t like red cards did I know I would be staring at a dog collar by the side of my computer! Little did I know that some years ago as I watched a comedian at a packed Salford Lowry perform comedy I had written did I know that in a weeks’ time I will be referred to as Fr Alex, and little did I know that when I started the journey to ordination did I know I would be about to start work as the curate at St Matthews church in Burnley.

EDGE END HIGH SCHOOL NELSON

This is my last blog before the big day, an exciting week full of events and experiences, an interview with the Bishop, a rehearsal at the Cathedral and then whisked away on retreat to spend a few days in silence and prayer.  I can do the prayer, but I’m not sure about the silence, I am one of those characters that love’s solitude but not so much silence unless I am perched on the top of Pendle Hill, listening to nothing other than the robust and noisy sheep surrounding me or the occasional moo of a cow down in the valley.  I am very much a forward thinking man you know? As I listen to predominantly eighties music on my IPod walkman following wherever the lead of the dog takes us.

Blackburn Cathedral

Pendle Hill - My favorite place in Lancashire

I find myself in a bit of a bubble at the moment drifting from the past to the future and back again, thinking about all the good wishes, all the happy memories and how wonderful the future will be or not. On a recent visit to a clergy friend he summed it up quiet beautifully I thought, he said ‘Being a curate is accepting the fact that you are the person cleaning the shit from the gutters one minute, to the expectation of being the Mayor of the borough the next’. I found this most helpful although I do get a little nauseous going up ladders and I am not one to wear excessive bling on damp irregular Mondays to Fridays’.

My biggest quandary today is travel bag or suitcase for the retreat? As I have to take all my clergy gear plus ever so smart casual clothing that will do for all weather eventualities. One thing I come to consider as I prepare to ship out for a few days is that my underpants collection is so flipping middle aged! Not a brand in sight and not a pattern that is externally desirable and not a whiff of designer boxer shorts. I can tell you that whilst I appear effervescently handsome and youthful on the outside, internally I am deeply middle aged. I was gently reminded of this by my dear loving wife who inquired, ‘is there any form of lumbar support I didn’t have?’ I told her my ankle; knee, calf, shoulder, neck pillow and truss were all part of keeping the well-oiled machine functional as I rapidly approach my 46^th birthday. My daughter reinforced this today as well when she suggested the shirt I was wearing was far to young for me!

Middle Aged Underpants

And as the big occasion is just a few days away I have of course considered my attire for the ordination service, the un-trendy underpants are a given, but I have a dilemma between the Burnley FC socks I was given on Father’s day or the not very comical, comical Holy socks I got as a freebie when I ordered my clergy shirts! However big note to self is, do not wear the genuine fake Sergio Tachini white ones that I wear around the house. Generally I think I am okay as I have this week been wearing my dog collar around the house and you will be pleased to know I was also wearing the shirt to gain familiarity! It is a little uncomfortable as my slender double chin rest upon the collar but I think I will just about cope okay. Cuff links is another matter, what a kafuffle that is and it appears for this to be a long standing principal of wearing clergy shirts my wife will have to accompany me everywhere I need to dress myself!

A Clergy Collar

In truth I have that bubble in the tummy that fluffiness in the head that is either excitement or fear or a caffeine hangover I’m not sure which one is correct, but after a long, long journey to this coming weekend I can’t help but feel extremely proud of finally making it to the Cathedral on the 4^th July. After many set -backs and disappointments after many knockers and blockers after many dis-believers and mickey takers it appears I have made it to the big day. It has to be said that the encouragement, love, support, laughter and fun has been a massive antidote to the former.

I have learnt many things about myself and others during the trip, dealing with death and dying, dealing with hurt and rejection, accepting different opinions, witnessing maliciousness and intolerance, observing Christian bashing,  church in terminal decline etc. etc. Negativity however is not my game I hate it with a passion, why are some churches struggling? Look in the mirror would be my reply.

And so as I leave this final blog before ordination with you and I thank all who read any one of my many blogs, I hope that you may have been encouraged by a rather eccentric lay person to have confidence in your faith, to rejoice in the truthfulness of God, to understand life does not always need to be serious and in the words of my Father, ‘Always think Positive’. The biggest gratitude goes to my family, I love them all dearly without them this would not have happened. Thanks Be To God!

God may not be leading you to ordination, but he is leading you to something, you have a choice to be led by him or by something else, it really is that simple. My life is led by God and it is fed by God, it has been life changing it has been so wonderful to share it with you who read my blogs.

Please pray for all those being ordained this Petertide, both Deacons and Priests.

Thank-you for reading and see you on the other side of ordination,

Much love

Alextheanglican.