So there I was, standing on the stage at the Frog and Bucket in Manchester,
The chap in the picture isn't me, I looked different much different!
The Frog and Bucket is one of the leading comedy venues in England, it is in the Ancoats Area of Manchester.
Some months previous I had trialed a comic creation of mine, A man I had named Joe Katella (as in Joke teller) In his fictional world he was Britains longest serving car park attendant and was awaiting surgery for a hip replacement, He had a Pony tail, a thick Geordie accent, and a girlfriend called Morag Breshnev.
So you get the idea of my alter-ego. The first time I did him he went down a storm, and was the highlight of a gig I did for charity. I thought I might be onto a winner and so persuaded my brother to follow me around the quaint market town of Nelson photographing me in my outfit and look totally ridiculous to all who looked on.
I don't have any images to show you but I wore badly fitting trousers, white socks, masses of foundation, a wig and a florescent yellow jacket. I looked strange to say the least!
I traveled to the venue, insisting my brother played the Eminem track One Shot - part of the lyric is this
Look if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or let it slip?
I was pumped up, the adrenalin was in full flow, which would have been great but we were only getting Petrol at ASDA we'd only been in the car for a matter of moments.
We arrived, 'Hi i,m alex Frost I'm here for 'The Gilded Balloon event'. I was made to feel welcome but informed performances wouldn't start for at least an hour. AN HOUR? I was ready now, I was more pumped up than a inflatable Crocodile at Jaywick seaside emporium (see previous blog)
So I went up stairs and waited patiently to be called.
The Gilded balloon is prestigious competition for aspiring stand up comedians, The prize up for grabs was a place in the final at the Edinburgh Festival, the place were stars are made!
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
Oh I was sweaty alright, I was surrounded by about 8-10 comics all believing they were in with a shout, I was on number 6. The venue was full, the crowd were vocal, the atmosphere was electric. I sat and waited, the acts before me were not great, laughs were few and far between, I was next.
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs,
But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down,
The whole crowd goes so loud,
He opens his mouth but the words wont come out
Some weeks previous, I attended a writing workshop at the BBC, Ted Robins, local radio personality and journey man pro-comic was the host. We had a opportunity to record and present our writing. I performed Joe Katella to him and a small select gathering. Robins was laughing, really laughing, he told me I was possibly onto something!
I walked down the spiral staircase, in full costume, yellow jacket, pony tail, white socks, orange face, and I got to the Mic!
There it was, just me, the mic and the audience.
I was met with total silence
Total Silence
They were waiting, waiting for me to make them laugh, I looked at them, they looked at me.
He opens his mouth, but the words wont come out
he's choking how, everybody's joking now,
I couldn't speak, my mind had gone completely blank. There was laughing, but not with me, they were laughing at me!
I left the stage, the compere said, something to make the people laugh, I can't recall what it was but I remember being humiliated, or was I ?
I got in the car "Do you want Eminem on?" asked my brother. "What?" I replied. "Doesn't matter he said."
JESUS
Jesus was humiliated,
he was bullied
he was kicked
he was spat upon
he was tortured
he was despised
he was punched
he was beaten
he was cut open
he was pinned to a cross
he bled,
he died so you might live
I didn't suffer that night, I didn't die that night, I went home and went to bed and woke in the morning, disappointed with regret, but no physical wounds to show.
And Now
I laugh, I joke, I still have a deep love for the art of making people laugh, and that is something that will never leave me. I don't regret that evening, not one single bit.
I must tell you this though, the love of God,
is my adrenalin,
He is my motivation,
He is my future.
And if he's not yours already,
Then he can be.
Anytime you like.
Love and prayers to all who read this
Alextheanglican
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