Between a rock and a hard place.

   Hello,

One of my favourite lunchtime meals is the extravagant concoction of Beans and Sausages on a bed of sliced up a toast with triangles on the side, Never Heinz mind, as that would be far too posh and over the top! Occasionally I indulge in a Asda smart price strawberry cheesecake and priced at just 35p it provides an inexpensive lunchtime treat to my sweet tooth or teeth as the case may be! I often take my lunch break sat at my desk reading The Church Times, The Sun or The Daily Mail. In my ‘business’ drawer I have a bottle of Smart Price Tomato Ketchup, a substantial supply of Paracetamol, an endless supply of Argos pens, and a copy of the New Testament.

Beans and Sausages

A few years ago I was sat in Blackburn Cathedral specifically in The Cafe in the Crypt, at a meeting to prepare the Statement of Needs for the then unappointed new Bishop and those present were asked to consider what they wanted from the new “main” man. There was much said about the individual needing to be prayerful, wise, considerate, etc etc, and then one chap piped up and said ‘We need someone that can not only appeal to The Daily Mail readers but to The Sun readers as well’.  I thought to myself, So we don’t do that already?

Recently  a friend simply pointed out to me, “The Church of England is just so middle class” and on reflection I can’t really disagree. “Middle Class” hmmm! And here lies the problem, What am I? Am I working class or middle class? Can I appeal to ‘middle’ England and do I have the potential to instigate some success and enthuse the ‘working classes’ to come to church? Let me see. One of my great passions in life is music, I love music but I am not sure my taste would be middle class although the first record I ever purchased was The Floral Dance sung by non other than Terry Wogan, a very pleasant  tune, with the lyrics, fiddle, cello, big bass, corn and flute and the euphonium suggesting a rather middle class interest from an early age. However just some months later I was very much intrigued by the lyrics of The Sex Pistols when I heard Anarchy in the Uk for the very first time, what I catchy chorus I thought!  I also have a love of some classical music, I am a big fan of Bocelli and Watson and Co but sometimes feel I let myself down by over enjoying my hooked on classics CD which brings a significant ‘pop’ sound to some of the worlds greatest composers!

The Television is another issue, Should I even be watching a TV? Should I not be reading a literary classic from, Bronte, Dickens or Cartland, it’s unlikely particularly as my favorite book is, The autobiography of Les Dawson and my favourite author is Sue Townsend who put together the very funny Adrian Mole diaries.  I seem to go from one extreme to another, I often tape Songs of Praise, I really like Question time, I love the historical documentaries but I can often be found having a sneaky look at Keith Lemon being completely outrageous on ITV2 and occasionally glimpse in on the world of Jeremy Kyle and I just love Deal or No Deal with Noel Edmonds.

Just what is going on here?

 

The Greatest Author ever Published ?

Back to the news, I love the BBC channel I love news, I love politics, I love debate, I love The Sun…… What I love The Sun, with page 3 ‘exploitation’ and all? Yep I can’t deny it, It can take as much as ten minutes to read it sometimes, It doesn’t feed me socially, academically, or nourish me in any way, but it has a cracking sports section and it tells me what’s on the telly! All I need to interrupt the working day is a bit of ‘shit’ to help switch off for brief moment or two.

Laughing is one of my great pastimes, I was raised on a diet of Jim Davidson, Hi Di Hi, Keith Harris and Orville and legends of comedy Cannon and Ball. There probably what would be described as traditional comedy acts aimed at a particular audience, I remember with great affection sitting in packed end of pier theatres laughing with great gusto at a loveable green duck and Jim Davidson doing politically incorrect impressions of a black friend of his named Chalky! These days I find I enjoy comedy with a bit more intellect and very much enjoy the way good scripts and comedy is constructed and delivered.

Socially I take great pride in my nice home, not extravagant or decorated by Marks and Spencers but enough for me to reflect on what I have achieved alongside my dear wife, and as a boy who left school with pretty much nowt but a pleasant personality and a happy go lucky approach to life should feel rightly happy. However I get angry and frustrated at overweight kids, poor role models, shoplifters, bad language, people who can’t be arsed to help themselves, people who defraud the benefits system, otherwise known as spongers, I can’t bear racist behaviour, I hate that people have to live in poverty and struggle to just get by.

Oh it’s all such a caffuffle which I can’t solve and at this moment in time I have no idea where my future will be and my wife encourages not to worry about this at the moment but one thing I am clear about is this, I have no desire or plans  to be a Bishop but  If the Church of England is very middle class, then I of course will serve these people to the best of my ability and encourage them in faith on their journey with God, but also clear in mind is this man I have come to know, who’s name is Jesus. He served and worked with those on the fringes of society, he worked with the poor, the sick, the sinners, he washed the feet of his disciples there was no one beyond the open arms of Christ. If I am to truly answer the call of God, I have to be prepared to serve him anywhere and at anytime, to anyone and anybody and so if by eating smart price sausage and beans, enjoying Keith Harris and Orville and by reading  red top newspapers is my pathway of preparation for the journey ahead then so be it,  

In Christ with you all,

Alex.

Tick Tock

Hello and peace be with you,

Well as the days and weeks zoom by the reality of the future draws closer and closer although to  others they can’t quite believe I don’t already have my dog collar, a church, and a leafy lane Parish to take care of.

There are two questions I am posed more than any others, the first being, Aren’t you a Vicar yet? And what made you want to become a Vicar? I think I have addressed the latter in previous blogs, but the first, Aren’t you a Vicar yet has a more simpler answer, NO !

However it feels close enough to occasionally be frightened to death but at the same time far enough away to be relaxed and unconcerned about the future. People (mainly third year Ordinands) tell me that being a second year Ordinand is a ‘good’ place to be, no decisions to be made, no clergy frocks to order, no essay deadlines to hit! Yeah right if only.

The time of ‘Vicar training’ is also referred to as a time of formation, and I often wonder what that looks like, what is the tangible evidence to convince myself and others that I am becoming a man worthy of such a respectable and distinguished position as a man of the cloth. On the instruction of ‘her indoors’ I went to a works do and seriously let my very short hair down! Part of me had decided to enjoy the posh tea and quietly slip away for prayers and a early night. But with instructions from home ringing in my ears I did the opposite and consumed full bottle of beer, indulged in a posh pudding and headed for the dance floor with an old work mate who had considerably more energy than me and a lot, lot more rhythm than my good self. I danced myself in a state of exhaustion and was ready to gracefully leave the arena, when I was inspired for ‘round two’ by the pop star, Alexandra Burke who I am sure had been reasonably funded to entertain a large group of Retail Managers! Not being huge Burket…. I tried to sing along and give the impression I knew every word to every song. As she sang Hallelujah, I raised my arms to praise the lord and displayed my crucifix on the outside of my cravat and passionately swayed with pride as the crowd sung along.

As I got back to my room, high on nothing other than adrenalin, I sat on the bed removed my very sweaty dinner suit, and sat on the bed and reflected what a very pleasant evening I had enjoyed with some delightful company.I reflected on some of the conversations I had during the day and night. I would never ever break a confidence, but there was enough in a few moments of words and concerns from others for me to understand a little more about the time and period of formation I am experiencing.  

As I sat on my bed I looked across at the unoccupied single bed opposite, and among the defrocked dinner jacket and shirts, the deodorant, the dirty clothes and the spare socks and knickers (thats what we call them in our house) was my daily prayer book. This little hardback maroon book has become a bit a companion, it seems to never be far away from my side, It often lives on the kitchen table, or somewhere around the house, getting under Sarah’s feet but never far away from me.

Feeling rather fatigued from my John Travolta exploits sleeping was probably the preferred option to praying but a little part of me just wouldn’t allow myself to retire for the night without spending some time in prayer, and so I hit page  333 of my prayer book to ‘do’ Compline!

The prayers were private, but in those few moments I learnt a little something new about myself, a little something I may have known already but something I certainly know now. My life is heading in a different direction, by Gods will, I shall become an Ordained person in the spring of 2015, and between now and then I shall continue to be prepared for the many years of serving Christ as a Deacon, Priest and then Vicar, I shall be ‘formed’ as a priestly person!

So what is ‘formed’? Well if it is changing ones personality, losing ones sense of humor, being offended by a swear word or two or maybe taking exception when the word Jesus or God is used out of context, then  it aint happening. But if it is about, listening, responding, encouraging, reading, learning, teaching, loving, holding, rejoicing, friendship, laughing, crying and praying then I concede that through the love of our Lord Jesus Christ I am slowly but surely being ‘formed’ into the person God wants when the day of Ordination finally arrives.

As the ‘tick’ ‘tocks’ people say they see it, they hear it they feel it, and with humility trust me when I say that is both humbling and incredibly moving. The journey is hard, the road is long, the experience is just wonderful, in a rare ‘night off’ from the way of life, I  found people I could express love and joy to, whilst downing tools, letting my very short hair down and remaining absolutely committed and incredibly proud of my discipleship to God the three in one.

Peace and Love brothers and sisters

Alex