alextheanglican: Fit for Faith

alextheanglican: Fit for Faith: Hello fellow Human Beings, A few weeks ago a very deer friend of mind paid me a lovely compliment, He said 'Alex, you look knackered, abso...

Fit for Faith

Hello fellow Human Beings,

A few weeks ago a very dear friend of mine paid me a lovely compliment, He said 'Alex, you look knackered, absolutely worn out'. I was most humbled if not enthused at his honesty, and to be fair he wasn't wrong, after all this Vicar, Work and Family scenario really does stretch ones stamina and ability to multitask and multitask a bit more.

So after being mentally stimulated by the above comment, I jumped at the opportunity to purchase at a very reasonable cost, a exercise cycle and a Cross Trainer, whatever one of those things was. After all we had just sold on a metal framed bunk bed, which had filled a very small space for many years. I had the idea to turn it into a study room and space for prayer, whilst my good ladies intentions was a music come play room for the children. As it stands now it is a Gymnasium with my new Cross Trainer taking up almost as much space as the Bunk Bed. It has been in site for about a week now and the early signs have been encouraging, I put on a vest with my dog walking track suit bottoms and have already completed a number of high intensity workouts. The first one was a solid fifteen minutes, and mainly involved a light stroll whilst trying to establish what my pulse rate was and pressing lots of buttons to try and make my calorie count move quicker. I got off and enjoyed a cuppa with two sugars and three possibly four chocolate bourbons. On disembarking from the shower I can't deny having a brief look at my naked torso in the bathroom mirror to see if any weight had literally dropped off me, It hadn't.
I am now up to my third session, I can now do twenty minutes without too much effort although,  I have now got to the point where my wobbly legs and sweaty nose are showing the signs of possibly over doing it somewhat.
Meanwhile I have turned my attentions to diet, and my new healthy options have included, Tea with only two sugars, Tomato Soup (one of my five a day) 2 satsumas daily, Baked Beans for fiber and a Sainsburys' Fruit loaf, as a special treat and the occasional tin of  Basics' peach slices.
I thought about going for a run and having a bounce on the trampoline but I have to take things slowly, I can't let myself become a thorough bread athlete too quickly.
I am having a few niggles, my ankle is slightly inflamed my hamstring feels particularly tight, my back feels a little stiff, I have a minor inflammation in my right eye and my daily movements have been slightly unreliable. So when the girls suggested swimming today, I thought why not, so off we went. The last time I entered a public swimming environment was in forty degree heat in beautiful sunny Turkey, and so to bare my chest at Pendle Wavelengths  in Nelson was not quite as picturesque although there was a number of rather large individuals that made me recall the stunning mountains that surrounded our resort last summer.
I didn't so much swim but walk around the pool whilst my girls used me as an extension to the apparatus supplied by the leisure center. My knees became launch pads, and my arms were put to good use as I threw my girls around the pool as we waited for the wave machine to be activated.
The wave machine was indeed activated and after nearly drowning in the shallow end and being crushed to death by slightly overweight parents and their loved ones I decided it was time to get out and get home for a brew and a biscuit.
So a brew and a biscuit or three it was, before I headed off my for my daily walk of prayer and solitude.
It's been a nice day and as I normally don't see anyone on my stroll down the farm path I usually just burst into a spontaneous chat with Jesus, but today it wasn't to be as I slipped and some horse manure and aggravated my sport injuries which I,m sure I heard the cows in the field all laughing at! This meant the walk was shorter than expected, prayer was abandoned and I returned gingerly to the safety of my settee with a cup of tea, a Twix finger and episode of Songs of Praise whilst waiting for the Sunday lunch chocolate gateux to defrost.

However after all this physical activity I do write this blog, mentally refreshed and very positive about the months that lie ahead. I was lucky enough to attend a very special service yesterday at Blackburn Cathedral,
It was the Bishop of Blackburn's final service and I must tell you it was a joy to behold.
There was lots of pomp and ceremony, lots of folk in dog collars who I believe may have been clergy, lots of of men in feathers, and the star of the show, Bishop Nicholas. Among all the ceremonial requirements the most wonderful thing was the humility and selflessness from a man that has and continues to devote his life to God. Totally inspiring and I left the Cathedral with a bright mind, if missing a spring in my step knowing that Gods work had only just started.
And this morning I was lucky enough to celebrate the Eucharist with a man who has served the Lord as a Priest for the last fifty years. Blimey do I feel like a novice? But wow what a sermon, Without Jesus, we are nothing was the message, It was truly moving and highly inspirational.
I may never get the six pack back that I had last summer (ha ha) I may never have muscles like Fatima Whitbred, I may have to muster up some enthusiasm to do some proper physical exercise but I make this vow today and that is to keep developing spiritually, keep working for Jesus Christ, keep doing his work, where he wants me to do it. Today two men through their devotion to God have given me a great mental and spiritual workout and they shall both be remembered in Prayer for some considerable time.

Until next time
May you all find the love of Jesus.
Alextheanglican.

Turf Moor Memories

Hi,

  I was all of 9 years old and I had been nagging my Father, "Please take me to Burnley Dad, please, please." and after many repetitions of that request, he finally succumbed and agree to take me to Turf Moor for my first ever game. The date was 12th September 1978. It was a special treat for myself and my older brother Rob who had celebrated his 11th birthday just a few days earlier. Non of us including my Father had any real understanding of the enormity of of our first ever visit to the hallowed Turf Moor. The game in question was Burnley v Celtic in the Anglo Scottish Cup.
This is were we stood

Recalling that evening all these years later, is not easy but there a number of things that remain very clear in the memory of this ageing body of mine. 

 I recall the busyness of the occasion, it was buzzing, I felt like a very, very small fish in a very large pond, I had never seen so many people, it was by far and away the largest congregation of people I had ever seen in the first nine years of my life. I recall being in a very long queue to gain entrance to the Bee Hole End eagerly waiting to see what lied on the other side of the turnstile, and after much waiting, what lied on the other side of the turnstile was pretty similar to what was on the outside. I remember "the atmosphere" it was noisy, very noisy, it was intimidating and threatening, loud and aggressive, and it was extremely male orientated. I don't recall seeing any ladies, although I may be factually incorrect. I recall the smell, of tobacco and urine, and I observed a long queue for both the most hideous dank depressing toilets, and another cigarette lined long queue for the Beer Cabin. 

We made our way up to steps to take our position behind the goal, and I distinctly remember Turf Moor having that beautiful sparkle, you know the one? when the floodlights on and and there is a feel of expectancy in the air?

My Dad fort to get us a good view, but I remember spending most of my time on tip toes, trying to get a glimpse of the Burnley players I was "as yet" unfamiliar with. 

I don't remember much of the game, but I remember the tense electric atmosphere, I remember lots of bad language, I remember the passion and deep feeling that was held by Burnley and Celtic fans alike. The Celtic fans, It was many years later when Sheffield Wednesday visited in the FA Cup before I experienced such an intensity from an away following. They were off the scale and as this was my first game I spent a lot of time with my eyes transfixed on the bouncing supporters and the growing bad feeling within the ground. And so it happened, like a wave crashing over a sea breaker the Celtic fans invaded Turf Moor I was frightened, really frightened, and before I knew what was happening, my Dad grabbed me and my brother, and shouted "were going and were never coming back"

Over 30 years Later, we did go back, we continue to do so, except for my elderly and frail Father. I am a church goer I visit church weekly, but Turf Moor is my other place of Worship, I go as much as I can, from League games, to Cup matches, reserves to the youth team. To me Turf Moor is a beautiful special place, it's not Old Trafford, Anfield, Ibrox or The Nou Camp, but you know?

I really don't want it to be. It's a place that has made me laugh, smile, cry, despair, I love Turf Moor, it is my special place, to let off steam, enjoy myself and support the club that means so much to me. I didn't feel that on my first visit to Turf Moor, but I certainly do now.

best wishes

Alextheanglican

alextheanglican: Frogs, Buckets, and Jesus

alextheanglican: Frogs, Buckets, and Jesus: Hi,     So there I was, standing on the stage at the Frog and Bucket in Manchester, The chap in the picture isn't me, I looked diff...

Frogs, Buckets, and Jesus

Hi,

    So there I was, standing on the stage at the Frog and Bucket in Manchester,

The chap in the picture isn't me, I looked different much different!

The Frog and Bucket is one of the leading comedy venues in England, it is in the Ancoats Area of Manchester.

Some months previous I had trialed a comic creation of mine, A man I had named Joe Katella (as in Joke teller) In his fictional world he was Britains longest serving car park attendant and was awaiting surgery for a hip replacement, He had a Pony tail, a thick Geordie accent, and a girlfriend called Morag Breshnev. 

He had just returned from a 40 day coach tour of  the Afghan mountain region only to return with pleuresy and a inflamed arse-hole which his mother treated with a slither of fiery jack and a Beechams lemsip.

So you get the idea of my alter-ego. The first time I did him he went down a storm, and was the highlight of a  gig I did for charity. I thought I might be onto a winner and so persuaded my brother to follow me around the quaint market town of Nelson photographing me in my outfit and look totally ridiculous to all who looked on.

I don't have any images to show you but I wore badly fitting trousers, white socks, masses of foundation, a wig and a florescent yellow jacket. I looked strange to say the least!

I traveled to the venue, insisting my brother played the Eminem track One Shot - part of the lyric is this

Look if you had one shot, one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment

Would you capture it or let it slip?

I was pumped up, the adrenalin was in full flow, which would have been great but we were only getting Petrol at ASDA we'd only been in the car for a matter of moments.

We arrived, 'Hi i,m alex Frost I'm here for  'The Gilded Balloon event'. I was made to feel welcome but informed performances wouldn't start for at least an hour. AN HOUR? I was ready now, I was more pumped up than a inflatable Crocodile at Jaywick seaside emporium (see previous blog)

So I went up stairs and waited patiently to be called.

The Gilded balloon is prestigious competition for aspiring stand up comedians, The prize up for grabs was a place in the final at the Edinburgh Festival, the place were stars are made!

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

Oh I was sweaty alright, I was surrounded by about 8-10 comics all believing they were in with a shout, I was on number 6. The venue was full, the crowd were vocal, the atmosphere was electric. I sat and waited, the acts before me were not great, laughs were few and far between, I was next.

He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs,

But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down, 

The whole crowd goes so loud,

He opens his mouth but the words wont come out

Some weeks previous, I attended a writing workshop at the BBC, Ted Robins, local radio personality and journey man pro-comic was the host. We had a opportunity to record and present our writing. I performed Joe Katella to him and a small select gathering. Robins was laughing, really laughing, he told me I was possibly onto something!

I walked down the spiral staircase, in full costume, yellow jacket, pony tail, white socks, orange face, and I got to the Mic!

There it was, just me, the mic and the audience.

I was met with total silence

Total Silence

They were waiting, waiting for me to make them laugh, I looked at them, they looked at me.

He opens his mouth, but the words wont come out

he's choking how, everybody's joking now, 

I couldn't speak, my mind had gone completely blank. There was laughing, but not with me, they were laughing at me!

I left the stage, the compere said, something to make the people laugh, I can't recall what it was but I remember being humiliated, or was I ?

I got in the car "Do you want Eminem on?" asked my brother. "What?" I replied. "Doesn't matter he said."

JESUS

Jesus was humiliated,

he was bullied

he was kicked

he was spat upon

he was tortured

he was despised

he was punched

he was beaten

he was cut open

he was pinned to a cross

he bled,

he died so you might live

   I didn't suffer that night, I didn't die that night, I went home and went to bed and woke in the morning, disappointed with regret, but no physical wounds to show.

And Now

I laugh, I joke, I still have a deep love for the art of making people laugh, and that is something that will never leave me. I don't regret that evening, not one single bit.

I must tell you this though, the love of God, 

is my adrenalin, 

He is my motivation,

He is my future.

And if he's not yours already,

Then he can be.

Anytime you like.

Love and prayers to all who read this

Alextheanglican