Christmas

 So here we are, nearly at Christmas day, As one of my favorite crooners Andy Williams once sung on his Christmas Album,  The most wonderful time of the Year and it is indeed a special time especially for those of us with young children who can’t wait for the opening present ceremony to commence.
And whilst it is a truly magical time, when we get together with those we love dearly and those who we care slightly less about but seeing as it is the season of goodwill we are prepared to extend our arm of hospitality, as long as they have left by the time of the Coronation Street christmas day special.

When you were a child can you remember the ‘Big Present’ you know the one that made all the other ones ever so slightly insignificant. it may have been a bike or Dolls House, a Computer or a snooker table. I remember one particular Christmas I would have been about 11, all I wanted more than anything else was a Tottenham Hotspur away kit, a powdery blue, le coq sportif number. I wasn’t that hopeful as in those days Spurs kits weren’t doing a roaring trade in Burnley where I was growing up.  And so Christmas morning arrived, I got the usual pyjamas, selection box, and knitted jumper off Granny, until there was just one present left. My Mum said ‘this is your special present’ And sure enough I opened it up and there it was my Tottenham Hotspur away kit. I lept with joy, I hugged my parents so hard, I was so happy and I do not lie when I tell you I wore it all Christmas both day and night.

And so here we are nearly at Christmas Day, all the work and time, all the money and care, all the effort and thoughtfulness all the sweat and toil gone into making Christmas just perfect, isn’t it wonderful? So imagine the most perfect present that you ever received. Was it a toy, clothes, gold, frankincense or even a onesey? And now do you have that perfect gift pictured in your mind? Well now think about God, and think of God’s greatest gift to mankind. Think of Jesus, born on Christmas day, think of Jesus as that extra, extra special gift that is waiting for us under the tree. Be reminded that among the tinsel, and the trimmings, the sprouts and crackers, we are here to celebrate the arrival of God on earth in all humanity. From the Bible Luke 2 tells how it happened, Mary gave us the gift of God, in a stable in Bethlehem, he came to earth to redeem us. To forgive us our sins, to show us the way. As a prophet from the Old Testament predicted he came down to earth from heaven. And that brothers and sisters is, I promise you the greatest gift we can ever receive and we must respond with great thanks and praise, and rejoice that he chose us to follow him.

As we consider what lies ahead at Christmas like, did I wrap Uncle Harrys slippers? Will the Turkey be defrosted? Will my husband get me that item of high expense i've been dropping  into conversation for the last 3 months, Why did God not make Christmas day 36 hours long so we can fit it all in?  Well he didn’t and I am sorry if that disappoints you, but now, just for a few moments I ask you to empty your mind of those kind of thoughts and I ask you to open your mind to the love of Jesus Christ. Find a window in your busy schedule and in the peace and stillness of that moment turn your thoughts to the Lord of all Lords entering our world and accept this is his Christmas. This is the true Christmas, no television, no card games, no indigestion, no sherry. This is the Christmas where we rejoice and give thanks that because God so loved the world he sent his only son into his world so that we might live.
And so we are here not for tradition, not for conscience, not for our parents, but for the love of God. We are here to rejoice, to praise the Lord, and give thanks for the greatest Christmas gift of all.
Our savior Jesus Christ.

I truly hope Christmas is magical for you, and for those who are feeling pain, or carrying burden or frightened what the future holds, be reminded there is a friend who is waiting to walk alongside you anytime you need him, he wont let you down.

And so I wish you all a lovely Christmas, and I conclude with a prayer.

Father in heaven,

I pray for my friends,

for fun, and joy and hapiness

but also for friends

with their fears and worries 

stresses and strains

For our loved ones,

For those we dislike

For our futures,

And our past

For forgiveness,

For tolerance

For peace.

And for love

In the name of our savior

Jesus Christ

Amen 

 

Supermarket Wind Swept !

Hi,
   In my 43 years on this beautiful planet, I have only had the pleasure of being asked for my autograph on one occasion. I was in Bulgaria with my dear wife, and I was waxing lyrical to a Scandinavian women about my budding refereeing career. In broken English she misinterpreted what I was saying and duly asked for my signature on a napkin, so in some respects I had tasted celebrity status before and I obliged so I knew what lied ahead.

                                                               
                                                                      Bulgaria


I have have appeared on television three times, well four if you include Football league Highlights from 1986 I spotted my Parker jacket behind the goal against Port Vale in the days when Burnley were in the lower echelons of English Football. Anyway My first 'major' TV appearance was in the Question Time audience when it visited Burnley some years ago, I don't remember much except putting my arm up a lot trying to get David Dimblebys' attention. When it was my turn I burbled some nonsense about 'keeping the pound' (see my earlier blog about my political career) and took some satisfaction that my comment raised a ripple of applause from the people of Burnley.

My next time for the telly would be with my old work mate and fellow Christian, Janine as we headed for auditions at Granada studios to apply for the high brow television show Supermarket Sweep !

Janine Bradley

So off we went and were welcomed into a Hotel foyer with a large group of high intellectuals like ourselves to be road tested for this cutting edge piece of television. I had no idea what Supermarket Sweep was and Janine's brief description left me little the wiser. Well off we went and I vaguely remember sitting at the back as a number of television people asked us to do silly things and generally be a bit stupid. Surprisingly Janine and myself found this quite easy and acted like two misbehaving teenagers, being daft and taking nothing too seriously.

A few weeks later the call came through at work that me and Janine had been selected to star on the apparently legendary TV show Supermarket Sweep! Janine bounced up and down and I, well bounced up and down with her. We were only going on the telly!

A Television

Being 'hired' for television was not without the trimmings of luxury and we were allowed to drive the 250 miles the night before recording and we were treated to 2 single rooms in a upmarket hotel emporium known as Premier Inn. We left  for Kent at around mid day and I recall it being the trickiest journey of my entire life, Janine didn't shut up once! No seriously it was awful, the worse wind conditions had hit the UK and the M6 in the North West was shut as  was the M1, so we constantly had to find an alternative route!  On our way we passed a famous fast food establishment where the M had been blown off one of its hinges turned upside down and had humorously turned in Wcdonolds! After much singing and laughing to get through the trip, we arrived at Premier Inn, Maidstone, sometime after midnight a mere 12 hours after leaving Lancashire.

 

Premier Inn Maidstone

In the morning we pushed the celebrity lifestyle to the max and had a Little Chef Olympic breakfast. We had two or three hours to kill so we walked around a garden center, and had beverage from a vending machine!

 

  

                              Little Chef                                                   Olympic Breakfast

 Eventually it was time to go and make television. We were so excited, and were taken through to the Green room where we met other contestants, ate curled up sandwiches and watched re runs of previous Shows. As dull as it sounds me and Janine were loving every minute of it.
Next up was a visit  to the set, and excitingly enroute we passed the sets of Art Attack and Trisha, the girl who sold her soul to channel 5 and was never to be seen again!

                                                                      Art Attack            


 So there we were me and Janine, stood in a TV Studio that had been converted into a Supermarket. It was very, very surreal. Then all of a sudden the star of the show Dale Winton appeared. We were kept at a secure distance, whilst he dribbled some nonsense about having fun and being camp as possible.

Dale Winton

Back to The Green Room and it was time for makeup, That was nice I'd never had a professional put lady products on my face before, and to be honest there is not a lot you can do with a face that looks this good.
So it was time to record, and boy did me and Janine camp it up, we skipped around the set, giggled in all the right places and generally got into the spirit of being quiz show contestants.
We didn't win I  smashed a jar of pickles and didn't find the bonus banana or whatever it was I was supposed to be doing! We were sent on our way with a souvenir Supermarket sweep sweatshirt, and got in the car to enjoy the rush hour traffic and the long trip back to Lancashire! Janine and myself had the time of our lives and I know it holds happy memories for both us.

My final appearance to date, (Songs of Praise haven't approached me. Yet !) was on the BBC, this time is was with the Queen of the Battle axes, Anne Robinson on the legendary, The Weakest Link. Not wanting to delay those of you reading this blog, I shall try and cut the tale short. So I did all the make up, and Green Room stuff, never met Anne beforehand, and was basically taken to the set, had a quick rehearsal and then Ms Robinson appeared, She was rude, and didn't make light conversation! So we were off, and slowly but surely I was making it through each round and I was not to be defeated until the final and took great pride that is was only a post graduate from Cambridge University that would take the winners cheque away from my grasp.

The Host of Watchdog

As the weeks went by after recording TWL people started recognizing me at work, "Your that chap off the Weakest Link" was the most common phrase, but it was only a few months later, when I was frequently being seen on Outake TV for pretty much humiliating a lady who was rather large. I can't remember the exact words I used but as someone who was in the Comedy game I didn't need much encouragement from Anne Robinson, to take the bait, and add some Frost humor to proceedings. Anne asked me if I thought a fellow contestant was overweight and my response was along the lines of 'Well I'm not saying she's a bloater, but should could probably do with losing a few pounds'. Much laughter and banter followed and at the end Anne gave me a kiss and whispered in my ear, "Your a funny man". This episode resulted in the scene taking it's place in subsequent outtake shows, which left me feeling rather uncomfortable.

For a considerable time, months and months to be precise, I was frequently recognized at work as the Out takes hit Challenge TV and other Freeview channels.  You see I never got a chance to see the lady after the recording, she left whilst I was still filming. I wanted to say sorry, I didn't mean to be so personal.
I have always had a bit of 'showbiz' in my personality, and I can't lie the recognition was flattering, but as I reflect now the taste is bittersweet.
To end this blog I just want to say a few words about words. Words can do so much good but yet can do so much harm, If the lady in question enjoyed the recognition as well then I feel slightly better. If she was offended I deeply regret it, I suppose I will never know, but now as a Christian I choose my words much more carefully and try to be considerate in how I express them. I have not become righteous or boring (I have always been boring) but what you say is easily forgotten once the words have come from your mouth, but what is heard can last forever. When I was 15 years old I was told I was too stupid to take a maths exam, and sent to draw pictures with the year sevens. Funny now ? but never forgotten!

Just saying.

Peace be with you all
Alextheanglican.

SIMON

Hello once  more,
                                     Music  was my first love and it shall be my last, so the song goes, but in my case Simon was my first love, Music would come much later. Simon died when he was 24 years old, he had no teeth and couldn't walk in a straight line, I used to call him down from the neighbors patio which was a bit pointless because he was deaf as well, but although rather infirm, fortunately in his latter years he did have sight in one of his two eyes but I,m not sure which one! And as he hobbled down Marjory's garden he would let out the most awful meow to let me know he was on his way. After much waiting around he arrived and I had to haul him over the fence because the fifteen yard hike had left him utterly exhausted. I remember Simon had the most awful crusty fur on his rear where he had basically dried up to excessive sleeping  by the hot radiator. In truthfulness maybe we should have helped Simon on his way to heaven, he was not in good shape but we all really loved him, but eventually the time came for Simon to depart this world and it was one cold and frosty morning that I found Simon, deceased and very stiff under our patio park bench. I was very very upset, Simon was gone and funeral arrangements needed to be made!

My mother was in hospital at the time with 'lady problems' and someone had to break the news about Simon's death. She too was upset and as a family we arranged to bury him in the garden next to the Greenhouse. My Dad went off to run his Piano shop and gave us instructions to dig a big hole that would accommodate Simon comfortably. So my brother and myself took to the task but as young boys do we got tired and bored very quickly. So in truth the hole wasn't very deep at all but would just about do.

For the purpose of anonimity this person shall be known as Brenda, her real name is Brenda. Brenda was a feisty old lady who frequently fell out with my feisty old Mother, usually about the over hanging trees and out of control bushes, At the best of times, relations were rather 'Frosty' to say the least. Well not long after Simons grave had been prepared, 'Big Brenda' as we affectionately called her, came  bounding down the garden to investigate what the brothers Frost were up. 'What are you doing'? she asked. 'Were burying Simon' I responded. I don't recall exactly what she said but it went along the lines of 'you can't', vermin, vermin, vermin, rats, vermin, rats vermin, vermin, etc, I think she was slightly concerned that Simon would attract vermin! She insisted the grave was at least 4 foot deep, To cut a long story short I was still grieving and as a confident child, I politely told her that wouldn't be possible which didn't go down to well with Brenda and resulted in threats counter threats and involvement by the police and environmental health department if the hole wasn't made considerably bigger.
I rang my Father at his Piano shop and told me to go ahead and bury Simon and he would call on his way home to defuse the tension and find an acceptable solution.

To this day I have no idea what my Father said to Brenda, but the following morning I awoke, looked out of my bedroom window to find and 7 foot crucifix at the foot of Simon's grave. He insisted it remained in place for  some time and forbid us from venturing to Simon's resting place as he didn't want to light the torch paper.

A short while later the cross had been removed and although I don't know, I suspect Simon went as well, but I really can't be sure, but as an animal lover it makes one consider if our pets go to heaven.
As we have lived at our present residence for some time I rather feel I have lost count of the number of animals that have been laid to rest in my tiny back garden, in fact it's a bit of a dilemma when it come to planting bulbs in case we disturb the resting place of one of our many deceased cats, fish, gerbils, rabbits, etc etc.
The last of our cats to die was a dreadful little moggy called Sparky, we got her from a cat sanctuary, she had the softest feet, because she had been harmed and stood in acid She didn't wash and she was very unsociable and scruffy, she was the feline equivalent to Waynetta Slob. In her latter years, she was incontinent and rather unpleasant, I felt little affinity to this fleabag, and when the time came to have her put to sleep, I took her because, I pretended not to care, and thought I would be masculine and handle it like a 'proper man' should.

In the Vets, I placed her on the table and the expert did what was required. I cried whilst Sparky just went to sleep, she was wrapped in a Blanket and passed to me, she was lovely and warm and I put her in her pet box, took her home and buried her in the Garden.

A family favorite in the Frost household is Rolf Harris and his budget busting series, Animal Hospital. How we loved to weep along as Rolf choked back the tears as a dearly love guinea pig was put to sleep as' there was nothing else that could be done' for the little blighter, and oh how we smiled when a recovered hedgehog had been released back to the wild after a near miss with a tractor.

So do animals go to heaven? I think they do, but others may disagree. We can leave that for another time, but don't be surprised to be reading yet another blog about Love. Simon, which incidentally I do know is a silly name for a cat, was absolutely my best friend, I loved him with all my heart, Sparky was not but maybe the show of emotion at her death was because we gave her a good loving life, she was cared for, well fed, and could roam at her leisure, we did right by her.

And now Fletcher my current Dog, I,m sure he loves me as much as I love him, he follows me everywhere, he shows far much more pleasure to see me return home than my dear wife does, he is my companion, he is a good dog and I think when he pops off it is a nice to think he might be in heaven alongside, Simon, Sparky, and my long distinguished list of pets that have fertilized my garden over many many years..

For now, let love be your guide and let Jesus be your inspiration.
till next time
love and peace
Alextheanglican.

alextheanglican: My thoughts and I

alextheanglican: My thoughts and I: Hello,        I often think I think too much. Take today for instance, it's been one of those longer than ordinary days, It started about s...

My thoughts and I

Hello,
       I often think I think too much. Take today for instance, it's been one of those longer than ordinary days, It started about six thirty this morning and after putting on Daybreak I had my first serious thoughts of the day. I posed myself two questions, Does Ranvir Singh earn significantly more money presenting  on National Morning TV than she did working alongside Gordon Burns on regional BBC North West tonight? and secondly does John Stapleton wear a wig?

I often find myself thinking really silly things. This afternoon I took my dog Fletcher, on a walk 'up' to Townley, one of Burnleys' prettier locations. And I did spend an awful lot of time pondering if my car would be okay where I had parked it. The trouble was I was parked near a dropped curve and a few weeks ago I got stung by the parking police because I had indeed parked on a dropped curve.So I got out of the car, got Fletcher out of the boot, looked at my bonnet and summarized there was a possible 'grey area' if the friendly car park attendant walked by and recognized my car as a repeat offender. So I put Fletcher back in the car and reversed a good two to three inches. I got out of my car and once again got Fletcher out in readiness for our walk 'up' Townley, only to face another point of issue.  I was now faced with another dilemma. Had I left enough space fore the car behind me in case he wanted to vacate his parking space? I summarized, Probably not.  And so we jumped back in the car with the dog, at which point Fletcher was completely bewildered what was going on and gave me a look of impatience! I then drove, the 6 to 7 feet forward where the was no dropped pavement, no car to my front and non to my rear. Why I didn't do that in the first place is completely beyond me!

So we set off, Within about thirty seconds of our walk commencing I realized I had left my Ipod in the car, as well as the dog lead, and so returned to the vehicle, whilst Fletcher did his business, which posed the next mental conumdrum. Should I pick up his poo and leave it in the car or should I carry it until the next red bin? I went for the latter and so finally we were on our way. It was damp and miserable but being a enthusiastic Christian I vowed to make conversation with anybody and everybody I might encounter on our walk 'up' Townley.  The first person I encountered was a Green keeper from the nearby golf club. I didn't need to 'break the ice' so to speak, As he drove up to me switched off his golf buggy to kindly inform me 'There is a bin for his shit, just up there.' I tried to respond with a hint of gratefulness, 'Right thanks' I replied and just kept on walking alone with Fletcher, My bag of dog poo and my thoughts.After disposing of my dog poo, in the bin 'just up there' I  encountered a man in a in a bright yellow coat blowing the Autumn leaves off the pavement and I was unsure if he would stop his hoovering to let me pass or should I consider crossing the road? He made the decision for me as he indeed switched off his turbo piece of machinery. How kind, I thought, I will make conversation with this kind Sir! 'That'll keep you going for a while' I said jollily. There was no reply, just a look of, 'get a move on man' Undeterred I went for another killer comedy line 'You can come and do my lounge if you like'. Nothing not a titter, It was only a moment later I considered it was probably the massive earphones his was wearing that prevented him from being highly amused at my park environment humor.

I passed a man trundling along in a mini digger, As much as I tried he totally refused eye contact, and he completely gave me and Fletcher the cold shoulder. I understood although Fletcher looked a little troubled!
I ventured up through the golf club for nostalgic purposes to find the hut that gave me the inspiration for my as yet 'unsigned' sitcom 'Tales From the Hut' many years ago. It was a mossy old pathway with a difficult terrain and had a rather troublesome moment where Fletcher was being followed by a dog, who's owner wanted to go in a totally different direction to the one we were travelling, but my motto is always 'keep walking' so by the time the owner finally caught up with us I got the feeling the only thing he wanted to discuss is why didn't I  bloody stand still.

I approached an elderly couple, so I removed my earphones and lifted my crucifix onto my outer garmentation in preparation for a friendly chat. at the crossover point, 'Hello' I said in my jolly Christian way. Nothing, not a bloomin dickie bird they just kept on walking! Please yourself I thought.
I then met a man with a dog, who had lost his dogs ball, He asked me to keep an eye out. I told him I would keep an eye out! I never saw his ball, but to be honest the Christian enthusiasm was now wearing thin. I certainly wouldn't have run up the great big hill I'd just descended if I had found it!

I walked round the back of the hall and down passed the cafe to begin the homeward journey back to my car. There was a thick stench of tarmac as the main road to the hall was being  resurfaced. Nobody spoke except for me shouting at Fletcher to hurry up.  As the months go by he seems to becoming less interested in anything  important I have to say to him. On my return I once again passed the man with his garden vac, who this time, didn't even bother reducing the revs! He just carried on and showed no concern  that myself and Fletcher had to walk in the road to avoid a confrontation.

Where's all this leading, well eventually it lead back to the Car, but it does make me think about isolation, I do enjoy my own company but sometimes I think, I need to stop thinking so much. So I can only imagine what it was like for Jesus to spend 40 days and 40 nights alone. I sometimes wonder if we spend too long  alone with our own thoughts, we are not allowing Jesus to enter our minds. So how do we eventually get to a place of tranquility and peacefulness. In my case I must say the nearest I get to that is in my time of prayer and reflection. There are three places I find this. Firstly in church, not always, but sometimes the whole tone is just perfect, when the sermon, goes perfectly well with the hymns, and the sermon and the hymns go perfectly well with the prayers, and the hymns and the sermons and the prayers just feel perfect alongside sharing communion with my fellow Christians.
Also at home, in my prayer/ toy/ gym/ book room, I can feel so close to God it is amazing, the room is not a holy place, it has Bart Simpson posters on the walls, hundreds of CDS, dolls, prams, all sorts of junk, but in the darkness and stillness of me a candle and prayers I can clear out my clutter and be at peace with the world and feel incredibly close to God.
The final place is out with Fletcher, I didn't feel it on my walk today, but sometimes, the nature around me is incredibly moving, I had a beautiful fly pass by a Heron the other day, it was just stunning, it was if he was performing just for me. Seeing deer, foxes, rare birds when you least expect it is just so lovely.
What's the message? Find space, use it well and be at peace with yourselves and others.
And may the love of God be with you always.
Until next, be happy!
Alextheanglican.

alextheanglican: Fit for Faith

alextheanglican: Fit for Faith: Hello fellow Human Beings, A few weeks ago a very deer friend of mind paid me a lovely compliment, He said 'Alex, you look knackered, abso...

Fit for Faith

Hello fellow Human Beings,

A few weeks ago a very dear friend of mine paid me a lovely compliment, He said 'Alex, you look knackered, absolutely worn out'. I was most humbled if not enthused at his honesty, and to be fair he wasn't wrong, after all this Vicar, Work and Family scenario really does stretch ones stamina and ability to multitask and multitask a bit more.

So after being mentally stimulated by the above comment, I jumped at the opportunity to purchase at a very reasonable cost, a exercise cycle and a Cross Trainer, whatever one of those things was. After all we had just sold on a metal framed bunk bed, which had filled a very small space for many years. I had the idea to turn it into a study room and space for prayer, whilst my good ladies intentions was a music come play room for the children. As it stands now it is a Gymnasium with my new Cross Trainer taking up almost as much space as the Bunk Bed. It has been in site for about a week now and the early signs have been encouraging, I put on a vest with my dog walking track suit bottoms and have already completed a number of high intensity workouts. The first one was a solid fifteen minutes, and mainly involved a light stroll whilst trying to establish what my pulse rate was and pressing lots of buttons to try and make my calorie count move quicker. I got off and enjoyed a cuppa with two sugars and three possibly four chocolate bourbons. On disembarking from the shower I can't deny having a brief look at my naked torso in the bathroom mirror to see if any weight had literally dropped off me, It hadn't.
I am now up to my third session, I can now do twenty minutes without too much effort although,  I have now got to the point where my wobbly legs and sweaty nose are showing the signs of possibly over doing it somewhat.
Meanwhile I have turned my attentions to diet, and my new healthy options have included, Tea with only two sugars, Tomato Soup (one of my five a day) 2 satsumas daily, Baked Beans for fiber and a Sainsburys' Fruit loaf, as a special treat and the occasional tin of  Basics' peach slices.
I thought about going for a run and having a bounce on the trampoline but I have to take things slowly, I can't let myself become a thorough bread athlete too quickly.
I am having a few niggles, my ankle is slightly inflamed my hamstring feels particularly tight, my back feels a little stiff, I have a minor inflammation in my right eye and my daily movements have been slightly unreliable. So when the girls suggested swimming today, I thought why not, so off we went. The last time I entered a public swimming environment was in forty degree heat in beautiful sunny Turkey, and so to bare my chest at Pendle Wavelengths  in Nelson was not quite as picturesque although there was a number of rather large individuals that made me recall the stunning mountains that surrounded our resort last summer.
I didn't so much swim but walk around the pool whilst my girls used me as an extension to the apparatus supplied by the leisure center. My knees became launch pads, and my arms were put to good use as I threw my girls around the pool as we waited for the wave machine to be activated.
The wave machine was indeed activated and after nearly drowning in the shallow end and being crushed to death by slightly overweight parents and their loved ones I decided it was time to get out and get home for a brew and a biscuit.
So a brew and a biscuit or three it was, before I headed off my for my daily walk of prayer and solitude.
It's been a nice day and as I normally don't see anyone on my stroll down the farm path I usually just burst into a spontaneous chat with Jesus, but today it wasn't to be as I slipped and some horse manure and aggravated my sport injuries which I,m sure I heard the cows in the field all laughing at! This meant the walk was shorter than expected, prayer was abandoned and I returned gingerly to the safety of my settee with a cup of tea, a Twix finger and episode of Songs of Praise whilst waiting for the Sunday lunch chocolate gateux to defrost.

However after all this physical activity I do write this blog, mentally refreshed and very positive about the months that lie ahead. I was lucky enough to attend a very special service yesterday at Blackburn Cathedral,
It was the Bishop of Blackburn's final service and I must tell you it was a joy to behold.
There was lots of pomp and ceremony, lots of folk in dog collars who I believe may have been clergy, lots of of men in feathers, and the star of the show, Bishop Nicholas. Among all the ceremonial requirements the most wonderful thing was the humility and selflessness from a man that has and continues to devote his life to God. Totally inspiring and I left the Cathedral with a bright mind, if missing a spring in my step knowing that Gods work had only just started.
And this morning I was lucky enough to celebrate the Eucharist with a man who has served the Lord as a Priest for the last fifty years. Blimey do I feel like a novice? But wow what a sermon, Without Jesus, we are nothing was the message, It was truly moving and highly inspirational.
I may never get the six pack back that I had last summer (ha ha) I may never have muscles like Fatima Whitbred, I may have to muster up some enthusiasm to do some proper physical exercise but I make this vow today and that is to keep developing spiritually, keep working for Jesus Christ, keep doing his work, where he wants me to do it. Today two men through their devotion to God have given me a great mental and spiritual workout and they shall both be remembered in Prayer for some considerable time.

Until next time
May you all find the love of Jesus.
Alextheanglican.

Turf Moor Memories

Hi,

  I was all of 9 years old and I had been nagging my Father, "Please take me to Burnley Dad, please, please." and after many repetitions of that request, he finally succumbed and agree to take me to Turf Moor for my first ever game. The date was 12th September 1978. It was a special treat for myself and my older brother Rob who had celebrated his 11th birthday just a few days earlier. Non of us including my Father had any real understanding of the enormity of of our first ever visit to the hallowed Turf Moor. The game in question was Burnley v Celtic in the Anglo Scottish Cup.
This is were we stood

Recalling that evening all these years later, is not easy but there a number of things that remain very clear in the memory of this ageing body of mine. 

 I recall the busyness of the occasion, it was buzzing, I felt like a very, very small fish in a very large pond, I had never seen so many people, it was by far and away the largest congregation of people I had ever seen in the first nine years of my life. I recall being in a very long queue to gain entrance to the Bee Hole End eagerly waiting to see what lied on the other side of the turnstile, and after much waiting, what lied on the other side of the turnstile was pretty similar to what was on the outside. I remember "the atmosphere" it was noisy, very noisy, it was intimidating and threatening, loud and aggressive, and it was extremely male orientated. I don't recall seeing any ladies, although I may be factually incorrect. I recall the smell, of tobacco and urine, and I observed a long queue for both the most hideous dank depressing toilets, and another cigarette lined long queue for the Beer Cabin. 

We made our way up to steps to take our position behind the goal, and I distinctly remember Turf Moor having that beautiful sparkle, you know the one? when the floodlights on and and there is a feel of expectancy in the air?

My Dad fort to get us a good view, but I remember spending most of my time on tip toes, trying to get a glimpse of the Burnley players I was "as yet" unfamiliar with. 

I don't remember much of the game, but I remember the tense electric atmosphere, I remember lots of bad language, I remember the passion and deep feeling that was held by Burnley and Celtic fans alike. The Celtic fans, It was many years later when Sheffield Wednesday visited in the FA Cup before I experienced such an intensity from an away following. They were off the scale and as this was my first game I spent a lot of time with my eyes transfixed on the bouncing supporters and the growing bad feeling within the ground. And so it happened, like a wave crashing over a sea breaker the Celtic fans invaded Turf Moor I was frightened, really frightened, and before I knew what was happening, my Dad grabbed me and my brother, and shouted "were going and were never coming back"

Over 30 years Later, we did go back, we continue to do so, except for my elderly and frail Father. I am a church goer I visit church weekly, but Turf Moor is my other place of Worship, I go as much as I can, from League games, to Cup matches, reserves to the youth team. To me Turf Moor is a beautiful special place, it's not Old Trafford, Anfield, Ibrox or The Nou Camp, but you know?

I really don't want it to be. It's a place that has made me laugh, smile, cry, despair, I love Turf Moor, it is my special place, to let off steam, enjoy myself and support the club that means so much to me. I didn't feel that on my first visit to Turf Moor, but I certainly do now.

best wishes

Alextheanglican

alextheanglican: Frogs, Buckets, and Jesus

alextheanglican: Frogs, Buckets, and Jesus: Hi,     So there I was, standing on the stage at the Frog and Bucket in Manchester, The chap in the picture isn't me, I looked diff...

Frogs, Buckets, and Jesus

Hi,

    So there I was, standing on the stage at the Frog and Bucket in Manchester,

The chap in the picture isn't me, I looked different much different!

The Frog and Bucket is one of the leading comedy venues in England, it is in the Ancoats Area of Manchester.

Some months previous I had trialed a comic creation of mine, A man I had named Joe Katella (as in Joke teller) In his fictional world he was Britains longest serving car park attendant and was awaiting surgery for a hip replacement, He had a Pony tail, a thick Geordie accent, and a girlfriend called Morag Breshnev. 

He had just returned from a 40 day coach tour of  the Afghan mountain region only to return with pleuresy and a inflamed arse-hole which his mother treated with a slither of fiery jack and a Beechams lemsip.

So you get the idea of my alter-ego. The first time I did him he went down a storm, and was the highlight of a  gig I did for charity. I thought I might be onto a winner and so persuaded my brother to follow me around the quaint market town of Nelson photographing me in my outfit and look totally ridiculous to all who looked on.

I don't have any images to show you but I wore badly fitting trousers, white socks, masses of foundation, a wig and a florescent yellow jacket. I looked strange to say the least!

I traveled to the venue, insisting my brother played the Eminem track One Shot - part of the lyric is this

Look if you had one shot, one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment

Would you capture it or let it slip?

I was pumped up, the adrenalin was in full flow, which would have been great but we were only getting Petrol at ASDA we'd only been in the car for a matter of moments.

We arrived, 'Hi i,m alex Frost I'm here for  'The Gilded Balloon event'. I was made to feel welcome but informed performances wouldn't start for at least an hour. AN HOUR? I was ready now, I was more pumped up than a inflatable Crocodile at Jaywick seaside emporium (see previous blog)

So I went up stairs and waited patiently to be called.

The Gilded balloon is prestigious competition for aspiring stand up comedians, The prize up for grabs was a place in the final at the Edinburgh Festival, the place were stars are made!

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

Oh I was sweaty alright, I was surrounded by about 8-10 comics all believing they were in with a shout, I was on number 6. The venue was full, the crowd were vocal, the atmosphere was electric. I sat and waited, the acts before me were not great, laughs were few and far between, I was next.

He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs,

But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down, 

The whole crowd goes so loud,

He opens his mouth but the words wont come out

Some weeks previous, I attended a writing workshop at the BBC, Ted Robins, local radio personality and journey man pro-comic was the host. We had a opportunity to record and present our writing. I performed Joe Katella to him and a small select gathering. Robins was laughing, really laughing, he told me I was possibly onto something!

I walked down the spiral staircase, in full costume, yellow jacket, pony tail, white socks, orange face, and I got to the Mic!

There it was, just me, the mic and the audience.

I was met with total silence

Total Silence

They were waiting, waiting for me to make them laugh, I looked at them, they looked at me.

He opens his mouth, but the words wont come out

he's choking how, everybody's joking now, 

I couldn't speak, my mind had gone completely blank. There was laughing, but not with me, they were laughing at me!

I left the stage, the compere said, something to make the people laugh, I can't recall what it was but I remember being humiliated, or was I ?

I got in the car "Do you want Eminem on?" asked my brother. "What?" I replied. "Doesn't matter he said."

JESUS

Jesus was humiliated,

he was bullied

he was kicked

he was spat upon

he was tortured

he was despised

he was punched

he was beaten

he was cut open

he was pinned to a cross

he bled,

he died so you might live

   I didn't suffer that night, I didn't die that night, I went home and went to bed and woke in the morning, disappointed with regret, but no physical wounds to show.

And Now

I laugh, I joke, I still have a deep love for the art of making people laugh, and that is something that will never leave me. I don't regret that evening, not one single bit.

I must tell you this though, the love of God, 

is my adrenalin, 

He is my motivation,

He is my future.

And if he's not yours already,

Then he can be.

Anytime you like.

Love and prayers to all who read this

Alextheanglican

BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER, ISN'T IT?

Greetings from East Lancashire,

As a lover of the traditional seaside holiday and after being brought up on the delights of Bognor Regis, Brighton by the sea and Butlins at Pwllheli, I decided four years ago to find the Frost family a traditional seaside resort that we hadn't had the joys of discovering before. After many hours trawling the Internet, going from Cornwall to Somerset, Devon to Suffolk, Dorset to Dover I struggled to find that special place that would live long in the memory and make us smile as we reflected on a special summer vacation.

This picture below is where I booked.

This place is Jaywick. If I had taken the trouble to look on Wikipedia I may well have established that Paradise it was not! In fact Wikipedia reads like the worse Tripadviser review you could possibly imagine.

It read " Jaywick was originally intended as a holiday resort for Londoners. Many of the houses were poorly constructed and were only intended for short-term holiday use". and,   "According to the Indices of deprivation 2010  the village is the most deprived area in England". 

So there you have it four years ago I had booked a a caravan in Jaywick the most deprived village in England. Of course  I had no idea and I remember as we stopped for our "long journey" picnic in a area of outstanding natural beauty, Colchester! my enthusiasm for the weekend was  well, still very enthusiastic! As we packed up our sandwiches because of a light to very heavy drizzle we headed for the resort determined that the sun would soon be upon us. I recall putting on radio 5 live on as it was the opening day of the football season only to discover Burnley FC were three down after just seven minutes of action.  I refused to be down hearted as I Put my windscreen wipers on full blast to cope with the brief downpoor of Biblical proportions which only lasted for  about 6 to 7 hours !   As we drove through the traditional resort of Clacton Upon Sea, I honestly recall seeing an advert for Britains last remaining Circus with animals! I was unsure if I should be mildly impressed or deeply outraged. I decided to leave that for a rainy day, of which there would be many!

So we left Clacton and quickly picked up signs for Jaywick, and that, "reaching destination" excitement had taken us all in a moment of giddyness and joy, and as we turned slowly onto the Promenade we saw in front of us Jaywick Amusement arcade happily name Slots of fun.

Below is an image of Jaywick Amusement Arcade, Slots of fun!

Strange as it may seem we weren't amused by Jaywick "Amusment" Arcade !

And so we continued up the prom to observe some of the local accommodation.

Your probably getting the drift, that our choice of holiday was maybe a little ill informed and not the prettiest part  the British coastline had to offer.

      As we gained entry to our Caravan this was our view of the local land mark, 

To this day I have no bloody idea what it is!

I remember slumping in my 6 birth standard caravan saying to my dear wife "What have we done"? I remember being devastated at bringing my family to possibly the most dreadful resort I have ever seen. I decided to visit the local shops.

These were the local shops !

These really were the local shops. So I found the next local, local shop!

This was the next local, local shop!

The freezer was bare except for some Happy Shopper sausages and some Birds Eye Fish Fingers, I bought them with Milk, a loaf of bread and a Mcvities Syrup sponge, I just couldn't go back empty handed.

It was as you can imagine a difficult period of my life. 

At least we had the beach to look forward to the following day!

This was the beach.

So there you have it, Jaywick by the Sea, a true story, no less !

When I reflect on this holiday It makes me consider a number of things, The first day of  this trip almost convinced me to get in the car and head back to Lancashire and spend our weeks holiday wallowing in self pity at what a disaster it  all was. But by the end of the week I recall driving home after having really great holiday. You see the old "it's what you make it" kicked in and we made it a great holiday, We went to the Clacton Carnival, we went to Colchester Zoo, which was fantastic, we found a summer Fete, where I bought a book on Christianity and paid over the odds for four Cornets and a chocolate Magnum!  We went to Colchester Swimming Baths where they had great slides and a practical car park! We had one day of sunshine so we spent  it on Clacton Beach, the kids dug holes and paddled in the sea, we had fish and chips and went on the Peer. Trust me we had a great time.

The second thing that I reflect upon is how much fun and enjoyment can be find in the places you least expect it. By the end of the holiday we had grown fond of Jaywick, it made us chuckle every time we returned from a trip out, and still now we laugh about this "gem" by the sea.

It also makes me think about my future Ministry, Many people suggest a nice "leafy lane" parish would be nice, A beautiful chuch, where people are queueing up to be married, there is little crime, a nice community and all that, but in fact I,m not so sure. First of all I think all churches are beautiful, there is something unique about them all but also something they have in common is they are places where we can meet God in the sharing of communion.  I don't know where my future ministry lies, and I may well end up in that "leafy lane" environment but if God chooses to lead me and my family to somewhere a little less pleasant on the eye then so shall it be.

My wife offered me some real words of encouragement not too long ago, I was pontificating about the future, slightly worried if the Parish we ended up in has a resemblance of Jaywick by the sea, how on earth would we cope. But Sarah put my mind at rest by  simply saying "As long as we are all together, we will be fine". And I take great heart from that, it's a reminder that love doesn't leave you because your in a  a difficult place, in fact it enthuses me that love can sometimes be found in those difficult times and challenging environments, just as it can be found in the more affluent areas of society. It fills me with confidence in God. Love can truly be found and expressed anywhere and anytime.The secret and the challenge for us all is seeking it out and expressing it to one another!

May the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.

love

AlextheAnglican.

Going through the emotions!

Do you ever think you think too much?

I know I do, As I approach a significant milestone in my Christian life, I can't help thinking about the journey I have traveled to this point of my life, I think about school days, friendships, past careers, and colleagues and it seems only a short time ago when I began my first days work as a Van Assistant for Currys Electrical visiting my first customer and struggling desperately trying to a connect a three point plug to a very heavy washing machine. Every time I wheel out a washing machine for a customer these days in my present job, it takes me back to my teenage years where I was very much the "lacky" and did just as I was told.
These days I frequently find myself considering my vocation. Why have I been called to Ordination training, What is it exactly, God wants me to do?  Why me?  Why now ? It creates many emotions, Worry, excitement, frustration, Joy, doubt, confidence, it really does take you on a roller coaster of thoughts.
  I have much support particularly from family and friends, and "the church" has cared for me beautifully, but i find myself frequently being asked by others What made you do it?
I used to say I don't know, after all for a considerable period of time I thought the road of Comedy, was my calling, writing comic material was a real passion, and without being arrogant I was confident it was good stuff, Production companies told me so, I have a brief case full of stuff that I keep tucked safely away just in case I feel the urge to push again and have a go at the "fame game" although at this moment in time I have absolutely no craving to travel down that particular road.
 I often wonder what people think of my Vocation, after all I'm a man of extremes, and some of past blogs reflect what I like to consider is a rather color full life that i'm living. Frequently when people learn of what i'm doing a common response would be "I didn't know you were religous" or "How does Sarah (my wife) feel about it"?
One of Jesus' teaching was warning of the dangers of judging someone, which is something I struggle with most days of my life, but in turn I suppose I must get used to the fact the people will be judging me as I am now, and when I ultimately become Ordained and wear the dog collar through out my working life.
  So lots of emotions but probably no more than any other human being who thinks about life, family, money, the future the past, and I just want to express my confidence in my Faith that keeps me on the straight and narrow.
  Something that nearly always happens now when i,m about is conversation will turn pretty quickly to the subject of God, People will openly express their own position, whether Christian, agnostic, or Atheist, they seem to want to get it off their chest. Which is great, some people share very private thoughts, worries, experiences, people ask me to pray for them which I always do of course. People ask deep theological questions, People sometimes challenge me to convince them God exists. The questions are endless, but I must tell you this, If you have the slightest bit of Faith that God exists, then you must find a way to express that, It needn't be in a Church, but you can pray anywhere, anytime, and get those things that mash your head, off your chest.
Prayer has become one of the most important practices of my life, It is rather tricky to do that in a noisy household and so most of my praying is done on a farm track with my dog Fletcher,(he chases rabbits) where I pray out loud and get it all out, which has been rather embarrassing sometimes as the occasional runner discretely jogs passed listening to me praying about, work, people, life etc. but do you not what? I couldn't care less.
Among all the thoughts I have a clear, conviction that my faith is my strength, I give it all to God sometimes, and boy does that help, knowing that he can take all my burdens, and worries and fears, and then fills me with overwhelming love and encouragement which can hit me completely out of the blue is inspiring stuff.
  So when I,m asked now what may you do this? My simple answer is "God did"!
This normally generates a difficult moment of silence, and we carry on, but yep God did, and that's that.
I encourage all who read this who haven't prayed for sometime, to do so, get some of the anxieties off your chest, give them to someone that will listen in silence but may respond in a way that you never thought possible. You can do it anywhere and at any time, you do not  need an appointment to be with God.
In the words of a comic hero,
May your God go with you.
Alex the Anglican.

Judith Chalmers I am not !

I had always wanted a good camera, and as I am now settling into my forties, it was something that had been on my mind for some time, I had visions of my photographs of Pendle Hill, a Red Admiral Butterfly or even a misty lake with a Drogonfly hovering just above the surface, being displayed on North West tonight or in the latest edition of Lancashire Life. And so when the opportunity to purchase one at a very competitive price I took the plunge and planned to make my dreams a reality.
Oh this was a splendid piece of modern technology, it was sleak, sexy, smooth and had one of those lenses that popped out for what seemed like forever.
 I was keen to give it a try before my annual trip into Europe and so went down the farm path, where I photographed a Motorway Bridge, a tree, a puddle, a cow, a magpie, another cow, my feet, a fence and a Bull, which quite possibly could have been another cow! I was trying to master the auto focus, macro, flash etc and in truth out of about 50 snaps, 50 probably wouldn't  have made the local rag let alone regional television. I was that serious about honing my skills I spent a good 5 to 6 minutes in the back garden following a Bee as he stripped my flowers of nectar whilst I struggled in avoiding dog poo, my beloved pet had left for me to negotiate.

So there I was a few weeks ago at Manchester Airport, huffing and puffing, sweating and frustrated, angry and well and truly at the end of my tether. In my ideal pre flight programme, I would have had a couple of hours to peruse the over priced tax free perfumes, gasp at the price of M & M s and wonder to myself who actually shopped In the very chique Monsoon store in the departure lounge of the North Wests biggest airport. Does anybody plan to do a bit of clothes shopping before they jet off to Benidorm or any other exclusive destination Terminal 2 has to offer?
It all started so well, We Arrived at the airport in good time,I even remember hugging my wife at the bus stop.  We were whisked away by the shuttle bus which arrived in no time at all. We jumped on with excitement and enthusiasm for the long trip ahead. We got through check in nice and quickly, or so we thought, and made our way into to the thronging departure lounge which resembled a plague of ants on a discarded "Fab" ice lolly lying on a sticky pavement. It was heaving, but still cheerful and optimistic we made our way to the food hall fully prepared to pay an extortionate price for a hot meal that had been cooked to within an inch of disintegration. We scambled around for a table to seat the five of us, but then all of a sudden the harmony had been shattered, one wanted, Burger King, one wanted Deli Bar, The good lady and my self weren't fussed and another wanted Mcdonalds, which as far as I,m aware doesn't exist in T2. The queue to all food stations was longer than the opening of a new ride at Alton Towers, and after much deliberation as to which would be the quickest of the stupidly long queues, we decided non would match our increasing sense of impatientness and decided to seek another eating emporium about a mile up the other end of the departure lounge. After more pontificating we decided that all Food Halls in terminal two were "no go" areas and as our increased desperation increased, my eyes were drawn to the Boots concession offering sun creams, travel pillows, and the world renowned "Meal Deal!" My heart sank and with the body language of a defeated human being, I suggested to my Wife, that the Boots Meal deal was the only viable way we were going to have a holiday "nosh up" before we were called to the departure gate!
Oh the disappointment that swept through our family that we couldn't spend way over the odds for a cold Burger with shriveled fries and a cup of ice was almost too much to bare, but before we could consider any other options my darling wife and hit the fridge and I was left holding our leopard skin hand luggage. To be honest I pretty much abandoned the luggage and decided that a 30 metre range would be adequate to observe our cases as I took a seat where I could wallow in self pity! Just as I begun to wallow, I felt a self awareness of being light of baggage, and realized I hadn't taken any pictures of aeroplanes taking off or the annual family picture of us looking completely underwhelmed at the prospect of a 3 or 4 hour flight across countries we hadn't heard of! Feelin my torso for my new state of the art camera, I patted away, checked pockets that didn't exist until I was met with utter despair that my new toy was not safely around my neck, nor strapped to my waist, under my holiday hat nor any bloomin where for that matter.
  My wife emerged from Boots armed with 5 meal deals mine being a tuna-less tuna sandwich, to be met by me in state of total despair at the loss of my piece of technology that was going to transform the future of photographic images. I ran through the terminal like a a Father that had not seen his long lost son for decades, and asked people sat at tables, men with foreign accents serving orange juice, security guards that looked unwell, everybody and anybody, but nobody had seen my camera, I had slipped into a uncontrollable mental state, my life had been shattered the world had turned against me and I wanted everyone to know!
  My dearest wife on the other hand kept her composure very very well and with only a little flapping took it on herself to bring some order to proceedings and gently nipped back into Boots where she re-emerged a short time later armed with 2 disposable cameras and another 5 meal deals!
"What the hell?" I inquired. to which she rationally explained, "Alex, we still needed a camera, and we hadn't book for the on flight meals"!
  A few days later, we were on a delightful boat trip, bobbing up and down in a secluded bay in the glorious, picturesque Aegean Sea in the South of Turkey, my children were looking happy and cooling off  in the warm sea, when  my wife suggested a family picture, So there I was with my Boots disposable camera, looking through a plastic eyepiece about a cm in diameter, click, wind, click, wind, click wind ! The good holiday makers of Europe were nudging one another is astonishment that in this day and age people were still using the "Trueprint" method of photograpy, in fact I swear a man from the Ukraine took a picture of me taking pictures.  Many wonderful memorable evening events were missed as I waited for the flash light to appear. Some days later we persuaded one of our daughters that her bog standard Vivitar camera was better in our possesion and so most of our snaps are of low quality and frustratingly rather average.
Our other snaps will be available some time in the next 28 days. This years holiday pics just about crawl into double figures and is well off  the 2 to 3 thousand clips I was preparing to capture.

So the christian message!
Proverbs 15:18 

A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel,

I was hot, I stirred up much dissension, and it was a patient woman the calmed the quarrel.

May peace be with you all this day
with love from
Alextheanglican