Thinking Out Loud ....

Hello friends,

                      It has been a while since I took to the world of blogging so here we are in early July where you find me in a rather contemplative, reflective kind of mood. So much has passed and so much to look forward whilst trying to embrace the here and now!

The last month or so has been quite memorable for many a reason not least of which was the Ordination of some lovely people who I have come to call friends, and the service at Blackburn Cathedral was delightful. To see such happy individuals with loved ones surrounding them as the Bishop of Blackburn laid on his hands and set them off to begin life as clergy folk was really fantastic. I sat with some fellow Ordinands and we were very proud to be able to enjoy the day with them and I can't lie that on more than one occasion it crossed my mind that it was me and my buddies who would be next, by the Grace of God of course!

I have recently discovered where my first post will be and when I received the email suggesting it would be St Matthews church in Burnley I have to tell you I was overjoyed. Apart from the first four years of my life when I had a little southern accent from being born in Tooting South London I have spent my entire life in Burnley and those of you who know me well will understand how much I love this old industrial mill town and how pleased I am that God has called me to spend the formative years of my ministry remaining in the borough. With the excitement of the news comes the realization that things are changing that I wont be an Ordinand, Store Manger or layperson for that much longer. The prospect of becoming a Deacon, clergyman, Rev or even Father is a little overwhelming, however I will still be a husband, father and friend to those around me and as the awareness of change heightens so does the trepidation and fear factor that in less than 12 months I with my family will begin an exciting and very scary new chapter of our lives. My family are deeply important to me and what a burden my and my calling form God are to them, but how amazingly supportive is my dear wife Sarah.

 The process I suspect is cranking up somewhat, I have ordered my first cassock which my Mum and Granny insisted on funding and I find myself perusing the numerous clergy retailers looking at clergy shirts that all look the same but am assured and vastly different in quality.  Also we have to move home at some point and I was ordered to power wash the drive today I sense Sarah is getting down to the task of getting things in order to be able to sell our house as we prepare to move to pastures new. Whilst we await news from the Diocese where our new home will be we have taken to looking at properties for sale in the Parish, probably setting our expectations a little too high as we saw a lovely home for sale with sprawling gardens and a pebbled drive, I suspect it wont be that be we do pray it is a nice family home!

One thing I am looking forward to is the colleges annual Summer School and as I remind people it is not a holiday but a week of theological education centered around worship and prayer, if it as half as good as last year trip to Cuddesdon in the Oxfordshire country then it will be a worthwhile trip, Mirfield near Huddersfield I hope your ready for us! Having the added pressure of arranging the social evening is not great and also being the newly elected chairman of the Ordinand meetings is something I am not accustomed to but will give it my best shot and I am sure my colleagues will be gentle with me. Another birthday away from home is a another reminder of some of the sacrifices one makes in fulfilling the desire to be Ordained and I am sure there will be many of those to deal with over the coming years. 

Another thing that I have been pondering recently is the reality that this will be my last Christmas working in the retail sector and after working in 'shops' since the age of fifteen it really hasn't sunk in that my shop keeping days are slowly drawing to a close and the new year will be a very interesting time in my life. The retail environment I believe will serve me well as I really have seen pretty much everything over the last 30 years tendering to the needs of the general public. I give thanks to God for the experiences and for the laughs and the tears and the characters and personalities I have met.

So there we are just a few bits of the many things going on right now. It really has been a quite incredible journey so far you know? I was baptized when I was 37 I was exploring the world of stand up comedy, then all of a sudden something happened and changed the direction of my life forever. God interrupted me and my families plans and taken us on the the most incredible white knuckle ride we have ever experienced and I don't see the ride ending anytime soon. To all of you who read my blogs thanks for your encouragement, thanks for taking a few minutes out of your life to enter my world and I hope that if you  can take anything from any of them then I hope that is can be the absolute truth and conviction of my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and his desire to offer his love to you at any point in your life, whenever that may be.

Have a really great Summer,

with love

Alextheanglican.

Musings from Iceland!

Hi,

   I felt a little uncomfortable this morning as I walked down the farm track. I sensed something occurring behind me and as I looked over my should a very young calf and it's mother and it's father and a whole herd of beef were hurtling in my direction with only a rusty line of barbed wire to protect me from almost certain death from the marauding cattle. Externally I was calm, inwardly I was shitting myself, as I politely said, 'oh hello'  as they quickly got nearer and nearer and so greeted them respectfully and said 'you alright?' stupidly expecting some sort of reasonable response. The chief cow let out a mighty Moooooo and stared at me in the way Mike Tyson would stare at one of his impending victims. Fletcher (my dog) on  the other hand thought it most entertaining and sort of rocked backwards and forwards in anticipation of a playful charge around the field. I remained calm and gently screamed at Fletch to come away and leave them be. He duly ignored me and barked away contentedly. 

It was something like this !

Its funny how we can go from comfortableness to un-comfortableness in a few moments of hysteria. I frequently leave work and head off to the local retail park that houses the leading freezing and value specialist  Iceland and also Co-op, Ladbrokes and Coral bookmakers. I park up and wait patiently for 2 of my children to get off the school bus for their expected and unappreciated taxi service home. It surprising how quickly you can go from a feeling of comfort to a feeling of unease just sitting in a parking bay watching the world go by for 5 or ten minutes. Just a few days ago I parked up minding my own business, sometimes if I am a little early I get my phone out with my little prayer app on it and have a few moments of prayer and peaceful  tranquility in my scruffy little Chevrolet Aveo. Well on this occasion I had the window down a little and without noticing a police car draw up at my side whilst I was 'in the moment'. As my chin had sunken deep into my chest I was utterly oblivious to the officer who was patrolling the said car park. As I rose from my 'moment' I looked across at the constable who was paying me no attention and looking in the opposite direction at what I believe may have been a local 'customer' up to no good. I instantly felt uncomfortable and thought I hope he doesn't think I am loitering with intent to do know good. What if he thought I was a local gangster or villain waiting to do no good, if he asks I shall just mention I'm training to be a Vicar, No !!!!!!

The very practical Chevrolet Aveo!

It's amazing what you see from my little spot, I see a Black lady and a pram walk passed virtually every single day at exactly the same time, I observed a weird school boy on a passing bus gesticulate rather perversely at an old lady waiting for the number what ever !  I was approached once by a man wanting money, I refused so he called me a tight *c**t which left me rather frightened and unsure if I did the right thing or not. I have watched a big fat man get off his disability scooter and walk perfectly naturally into the bookies which left me uncomfortably asking myself Is this man disabled? Is he not just over weight? Is he on benefits? Is he spending his benefits in the bookies? Am I judging him? Should I be sympathizing with him? etc etc.   I see an Asian man in the same bookies, I question his religious integrity, I have seen chubby kids leaving Iceland with Pizzas and pop and I question their diet and general well being,  I see cars park on yellow lines and think why don't they park like I have and I generally curse them. So many things that make me feel slightly uncomfortable.

A Fat Kid Pizza

I don't really like the side of me that judges, it goes against the Christian Ethos somewhat, maybe it comes from a lifetime of trying to outdo others, maybe from school days fighting for ones credibility or standing in the school community, maybe out rivalry with a sibling, A desire to be better than the next person or out do a colleague a uneasy win at all costs mentally. It's something that I am very much  aware of and something I work really hard against doing. I don't want  to judge or be judged but somehow feel it is unavoidable in this highly competitive world that we live in.  I can think of so many examples were I have been judged, or compared or  given points for my performance as if I was some kind of  living Opportunity knocks clapo-meter. Assessed for work, for church, for writing, for stand up comedy, for studies it is just one long list in ones life long assessment. I really don't recall when just being okay has been okay ! 

 

  Hughie and his clapometer

But hey ho It is not my job to change the world I shall leave that to Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber but I think it doesn't do any harm to remind ourselves sometimes that when we find ourselves crossing the reasonable boundaries of judging others then we should indeed take a 'timeout' and enforce a restraining order on ourselves to make sure we don't judge others in a way that can be hurtful and harmful particularly if it is for  our own self esteem or progression.  

Till next time,

Alextheanglican

The waiting game !

Hello,
         A student passed me with his lunch in ASDA today, he had gone for the healthy option of a 2 litre bottle of Tizer and large bag of Twiglets and just before I had the chance to reflect what his BMI rating he would be on on the Wii fit, I was collared by a ASDA customer asking me if I could help him with his digital photographs, 'I don't work here' said I, as he looked at my Argos badge whilst trying to work out what a man in suit was doing in ASDA. I scuttled away quickly and grabbed my Eccles cake, whizzed through the self serve and retreated quickly back to the safety of my office to consume my homemade ham sandwich which I perked up with some crushed ready salted crisps and a coffee, white with no sugar.

The office is my little safety haven at work allowing a few moments away from the hustle and bustle and chance to catch up on the texts, Facebook statuses and to see how many junk emails I have acquired during the email super highway rush hour or two. Time and space seems to be a little hard to find these days as I bounce from work commitments to family to church to study and so on and on and on. Frequent reminders from individuals to take it easy or 'I don't know how you do it' ensure that I do indeed need to take it easy and actually work out how I do it and more importantly and significantly why !

Now as a deeply entrenched Christian I really quite like the season of Lent, because whilst there is indeed a lot going on and life is busy, I find myself frequently eager for the next challenge to arise and the next and hurdle to jump over. Just recently the boss (my wife) and myself have had to fill out the paperwork that goes off  to people who we don't know very well who will attempt to find a Parish, a Church, a community, and a importantly a home where the family will reside work and play whilst I serve Jesus Christ ! Where else would you do that, and flippin heck why on earth would you want do that?

So the forms gone in, the studies are going well, (no I lie they are going okay) and it all seems to be going in the right direction which I suppose is reasonably important. The prayer life is good, it could be better, the faith is strong it could be stronger, the doubts are rare but still come along from time to time. Time flies by yet sometimes seems to stand still, when will that big day arrive?

It's a sill question really because I do indeed know that the last weekend of June next year will indeed be when the big day arrives, and after being to a couple of Ordinations all ready I have dreamed and imagined the day many times over in my mind, things like the guests, the family members, the friends, the colleagues, the clergy, the congregation, it's all been there I can tell you. I pray my wonderful and inspiring Granny will be there and at a healthy 96 years young there is every chance she will be! I sometimes worry that it might all be a bit too religious for my non Christian friends, with all this standing up, sitting down, Amen this and singing that, for many folk the last time they sang in a group would have been at High School and too familiar songs at that. But for me the prospect of that religious 'stuff' is  highly exciting and is what I have be working towards for many years now. I of course would/will be humbled and delighted to have people who mean an awful lot to me present come the big day when the Bishop lays his hands on me and Ordains me a Deacon.

However there is much water to go under the bridge, many assignments to write, many prayers to be offered, much learning to be done before next June,  but March and the time of Lent make me reflect on the long road I have traveled whilst seeing the end of this particular journey getting ever closer and closer. So with just fifteen months to go I reflect on the struggles of being told 'no not yet, to the 'yes but not quite yet' to the 'yes, you can finally go and train to be a Vicar! To reflect on those that supported me, to those that encouraged me, to those that pissed me off, every single day of single year has been an incredible time of great learning, understanding and self awareness, it's been a time of great sadness, great joy, watching the kids grow up nearly as quickly as my ever expanding waistline. The new friends I have made, fellow trainee Revs, trainee readers, tutors, people I have met on placements, people full of life and sadly people close to death, what an amazing beautiful experience it has been from start to finish.

But for now, it is Lent, something that means sod all to many people these days, but occasionally I hear someone make reference to it as they share there sacrifice or whatever it may be, and it encourages me that people still have a spiritual connection and thankfully God is still on the agenda for millions and millions of people, and I am more than happy and prepared to engage with those and others who believe in our savior even if that doesn't mean they attend church daily, weekly or monthly, to be honest I will talk about God with anyone! After all the study, all the debate I still find God, as the way and the truth and trust me when I tell you when I say, we don't just sit there convincing ourselves that, God is all lovely and cuddly, because it just isn't like that, It is bloody hard and very challenging! But for me Lent is so important and worthwhile, A time to consider all that happens and all that will happen, from the cross to the resurrection, from the past to the present, from the here to the now,
Christ is here with me now (not literally of course) and with each day bringing me one more step along the way, having the utter confidence of that in my mind, keeps me heading with great optimism into Easter and beyond,
May God go with you,
Alex

Beef and Horseradish Wraps

Hello Everyone and Happy New Year,

And the same to you I hear you all reply back with warmth and affection. After being blessed with Abba singing ‘Happy New Year’ since late last September on the old music system at the High Street emporium I frequent, I can’t say that since Big Ben heralded the start of 2014 I have been inundated with people falling over themselves to shake me by my hand or anything else for that matter to wish me a prosperous start to the New Year. Come to think of it I can’t say I have been falling over myself to wish anybody in my presence an exciting beginning to the month of January.

It appears that after the indulgence of Christmas the sense of good will to all men (and women) is a little on the crumbly side to say the least. In fairness nobody has been downright rude in the opening days of January  although one individual in Asda  jumped in the not so fast, fast lane I as attempted to swiftly purchase my Egg Salad and Eccles cake and retreat back to work before the next deluge of water fell from the sky and soaked my nylon acrylic suit.  I ‘frustratingly’ waited ‘patiently’ as they attempted to purchase off the counter narcotics which everybody knows needs operator assistance! This resulted in delaying my stay in the delightful trouble free shopping environment.  As I waited for my turn the women turned to the man who I assume was her husband but could quite easily have been, a brother, lover, friend, a relative, husband, or anything else for that matter and say “It’s shit in here, I now know why I prefer Sainsbury’s”. Whilst understanding the sentiment her outburst rather took me by surprise as I felt on this occasion the pretty slow speed of service was reasonably tolerable.  She didn’t know the half of it and I felt like saying you should be her when the students pile in! Oh my goodness when the students pile in, it is an experience to behold, the best part of a thousand kids buying Pringles and Iron Bru to stimulate the afternoon brain matter is one of lives more challenging experiences. As they all line up for the not so fast, fast lane with duffle coats and messenger bags, Nike trainers and pierced body parts in full bloom it can be one of life’s daily difficulties as I run my smaller business enterprise on the other side of the car park. But as I stood in that original queue I thought to myself bloody hell everybody looks so flaming miserable,   have they forgotten it’s just been Christmas?

Christmas in the Frost residence was a quiet affair with just ten people for the festive dinner, and whilst the gifts were lovely and the crackers were adequate my own personal highlight was my outstanding roast potatoes drizzled in weight watchers goose fat which made them crackle and crunch like and elderly man with a badly inserted hip replacement! It was a joy to behold as close family friends allowed me to clear the tables and fill the dishwasher I was content, I was extremely satisfied in the knowledge that my responsibilities as a host had been fulfilled because my taters went down a storm and the turkey was dead!

Back in the real world people have been going about things, Oh we enjoyed a little foray to a popular little shopping village fondly referred to as The Trafford Centre near Manchester and after paying way over the odds for a chicken burger and sitting in a very draughty Nando’s we headed into the mass of bargain hunters determined to enjoy our time together as a family.  Sometime later after failing to find a satisfactory place where we could all shop happily we headed for the exit and the short trip home.

As New Year Eve approached, the excitement for the big night’s festivities grew and grew!  I was most fortunate and blessed to be working on New Year’s day, so my normal heightened moment of New Year hysteria passed me by and as we enjoyed the hospitality of my Brother and his wife and literally hundreds of people I didn’t know, I just about managed to hold in all the excitement as I indulged on a beef and horseradish wrap and glass of R Whites! As the big bell of Big Ben chimed live on Sky News, I almost immediately reminded my dear wife of my ‘work commitments’ and left shortly after to a crescendo of fireworks and a brightly lit morning as we drove with great care back to our humble abode.

So here we are well into the New Year all full of hope and expectation, Gym memberships to be considered and evaluated and ultimately declined. Lose seven stones in seven minutes DVDs with the help of a Z list celebrity and a tight fitting leotard. New Year’s resolutions to readdress determined to shed some of the pounds shillings, pounds and pence we either put on or lost over the festive period. New ambitions, new career, new car or book the holiday of a lifetime to Skegness, or even a bit of early Christmas shopping, where will it all end?

Well in the doom and gloom of this blog I think there is some hope and optimism. In the rare times of tranquility I found some really great moments of positivity. I found it at home with the family, I took real pleasure from being with the ‘family’, we are far from perfect I can tell you that for nothing but just being at home,  just doing ‘things’ has filled me with great joy and satisfaction. Seeing the kids flourishing and enjoying the gifts from us, and Santa and others is a really lovely feeling and I suppose its why many of us love it so much.

From the general public, don’t ask me why but they just make me smile.

But also in Church, Midnight Mass, it was just beautiful. I don’t know why and I don’t know how and I can’t prove it or show it, but after the madness of work, the busyness of life, for a few short moments I felt the presence of Christ in the beauty of the Eucharist and in the reflection of his birth. In both those things I found and find great optimism and courage and hope for the future. I entered Gods church just before 11.30pm exhausted and fragile, a little worn out from the challenges of life and just before 1.00 am I left with hope, energy and excitement for things to come.

Although a little late may I offer you all my sincere best wishes for the year ahead?

With love

Alextheanglican

Happy Christmas

Well Hello once more,

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Turkey Turkey Turkey, munch munch munch,

It all get a little bit bloated don't you think?

I always get a little bit sentimental at Christmas and probably a little bit more so this year as it is the first one without my dear father being around. Christmas at the Frost residence alway evokes happy memories although there was little Christian references during the festive proceedings. The only 'Christian' thing I vaguely recall was a knitted jumper from Granny which depicted camels going around my torso to an unknow destination. It probably would be quite trendy these days but back in the eighties was no mean look for a teenager. 

One of lifes pleasures as a boy was going through the radio times with a pen marking all the 'must see' television programmes, things like Willy Wonka, The Wizard of OZ and a personal favourite Oliver Twist. As a family who embraced technology the Christmas Eve delivery of our Sony Betamax video recorder was a real treat and remember fondly recording the film Rollerball and watching it with the family the following day. It is fair to say Jesus was no where in sight.

It's funny how Christmas experiences live long in the memory, I remember being in the Worsthorne school Christmas production of 'The Time Machine' and I was cast as a time traveller, which basically involved spending a considerable time in the PE Storage cupboard that was doubling up as the Time Machine, it was rather uncomfortable particulary as me and my fellow travellers were intrigued by a large elastoplast with the equally large scab still in place resting with intimidation on the pommel horse which nobody had the courage to displace. Where was Jesus in all this?

I recall the nearly 30 years  experiences of Christmas working in retail for Independant and National retailers, I recall the 'shit' I used to sell in the world of Catalogue clearance, I recall the weight of the back breaking televisions I used to deliver in the world of a family run business, and I recall and still experience the might of one of the Uk's biggest retail establishments. The memories are vivid and full of happy times. 

I recall the thousands maybe even millions of people I have served, the disputes, the gratitude, the service, the joys the stresses of working and serving the general public. I recall the responsibilities that come with being a Manager, the people who have come and the people who have gone Is this the ministry of Jesus?

I recall the people who I worked with the people I still work with, I recall those have have passed away, colleagues, friends, customers. I recall a lovely old man called David, he used to visit our television shop in Nelson, he was elderly and frail but every morning he would just pop in and say 'Can tha lend me owt?" Me and me old mate Glynn would just say, "Not today Dave" the conversation was brief, and often concluded by David saying, "Thanks lads, see you tomorrow". After a a long period of time David stop coming and we learned that he had passed away. Jesus where are you?

I recall the drinks, not the volume but the rather feeble intake in the Frost household, Cinzano and Bianco, the snowballs and the Babycham and if we really pushed the limits a Shandy Bass or two could be consumed in a moment of indulgence whilst pretending to be drunk on nothing more than gas and carbonated water. These days I notice the regulars who wobble between the two public houses that I pass on my way home in the evenings and observe with sadness some of Burnleys human beings who have turned to drugs and prostitution to 'get by' whilst judgementally considering they live too close for comfort to the safety and security of my own bricks and mortar. Oh Jesus!   

I recall Christmas with family, We were never over endulged as a family, something that Sarah and I have instilled with Joe, Holly and Rachel, we give them something nice, but we try to ensure, never too much! I recall the huge joint of beef purchased, cooked and carved by my dear 96 year old Granny who by Gods grace will celebrate Christmas with us at 'Frost towers' on the 25th of December. My Mum will be with us, she WILL get emotional, she will talk about my Dad, how she misses him, how he loved Christmas and his family and how it will never be the same. Jesus?

I suppose what you might get from this blog is my feeling that in these very short and brief reflections of Christmas, is maybe just maybe Christ was always there simply walking alongside me like a speech bubble just sitting on my shoulder waiting for me to notice he was there. The times I looked and saw nothing, the times I was hearing and not listening, the times I was joyous and not grateful. The New Year will continue to, prod and proke and challenge me in my formation towards Ordained ministry, but the past, the experiences the challenges, the tears, the laughs, the anger, the education is I feel part of Gods masterplan for my future. The New Year will continue to prod and proke and challenge you as well but  I urge all of you with faith and also those of you without, to take just a few moments prior to Christmas in a moment of stillness and tranquility and reflect on your 'life journey' and give thanks to whovever you owe that to, be it, Jesus, Mum, Dad, carer, brother, sister, husband, wife, son or daughter, friend or foe. In the meantime I offer prayers and thanksgiving for all those who have impacted my life and wish you all a really great Christmas,

Till next time love and peace,

Alextheanglican.

 

Between a rock and a hard place.

   Hello,

One of my favourite lunchtime meals is the extravagant concoction of Beans and Sausages on a bed of sliced up a toast with triangles on the side, Never Heinz mind, as that would be far too posh and over the top! Occasionally I indulge in a Asda smart price strawberry cheesecake and priced at just 35p it provides an inexpensive lunchtime treat to my sweet tooth or teeth as the case may be! I often take my lunch break sat at my desk reading The Church Times, The Sun or The Daily Mail. In my ‘business’ drawer I have a bottle of Smart Price Tomato Ketchup, a substantial supply of Paracetamol, an endless supply of Argos pens, and a copy of the New Testament.

Beans and Sausages

A few years ago I was sat in Blackburn Cathedral specifically in The Cafe in the Crypt, at a meeting to prepare the Statement of Needs for the then unappointed new Bishop and those present were asked to consider what they wanted from the new “main” man. There was much said about the individual needing to be prayerful, wise, considerate, etc etc, and then one chap piped up and said ‘We need someone that can not only appeal to The Daily Mail readers but to The Sun readers as well’.  I thought to myself, So we don’t do that already?

Recently  a friend simply pointed out to me, “The Church of England is just so middle class” and on reflection I can’t really disagree. “Middle Class” hmmm! And here lies the problem, What am I? Am I working class or middle class? Can I appeal to ‘middle’ England and do I have the potential to instigate some success and enthuse the ‘working classes’ to come to church? Let me see. One of my great passions in life is music, I love music but I am not sure my taste would be middle class although the first record I ever purchased was The Floral Dance sung by non other than Terry Wogan, a very pleasant  tune, with the lyrics, fiddle, cello, big bass, corn and flute and the euphonium suggesting a rather middle class interest from an early age. However just some months later I was very much intrigued by the lyrics of The Sex Pistols when I heard Anarchy in the Uk for the very first time, what I catchy chorus I thought!  I also have a love of some classical music, I am a big fan of Bocelli and Watson and Co but sometimes feel I let myself down by over enjoying my hooked on classics CD which brings a significant ‘pop’ sound to some of the worlds greatest composers!

The Television is another issue, Should I even be watching a TV? Should I not be reading a literary classic from, Bronte, Dickens or Cartland, it’s unlikely particularly as my favorite book is, The autobiography of Les Dawson and my favourite author is Sue Townsend who put together the very funny Adrian Mole diaries.  I seem to go from one extreme to another, I often tape Songs of Praise, I really like Question time, I love the historical documentaries but I can often be found having a sneaky look at Keith Lemon being completely outrageous on ITV2 and occasionally glimpse in on the world of Jeremy Kyle and I just love Deal or No Deal with Noel Edmonds.

Just what is going on here?

 

The Greatest Author ever Published ?

Back to the news, I love the BBC channel I love news, I love politics, I love debate, I love The Sun…… What I love The Sun, with page 3 ‘exploitation’ and all? Yep I can’t deny it, It can take as much as ten minutes to read it sometimes, It doesn’t feed me socially, academically, or nourish me in any way, but it has a cracking sports section and it tells me what’s on the telly! All I need to interrupt the working day is a bit of ‘shit’ to help switch off for brief moment or two.

Laughing is one of my great pastimes, I was raised on a diet of Jim Davidson, Hi Di Hi, Keith Harris and Orville and legends of comedy Cannon and Ball. There probably what would be described as traditional comedy acts aimed at a particular audience, I remember with great affection sitting in packed end of pier theatres laughing with great gusto at a loveable green duck and Jim Davidson doing politically incorrect impressions of a black friend of his named Chalky! These days I find I enjoy comedy with a bit more intellect and very much enjoy the way good scripts and comedy is constructed and delivered.

Socially I take great pride in my nice home, not extravagant or decorated by Marks and Spencers but enough for me to reflect on what I have achieved alongside my dear wife, and as a boy who left school with pretty much nowt but a pleasant personality and a happy go lucky approach to life should feel rightly happy. However I get angry and frustrated at overweight kids, poor role models, shoplifters, bad language, people who can’t be arsed to help themselves, people who defraud the benefits system, otherwise known as spongers, I can’t bear racist behaviour, I hate that people have to live in poverty and struggle to just get by.

Oh it’s all such a caffuffle which I can’t solve and at this moment in time I have no idea where my future will be and my wife encourages not to worry about this at the moment but one thing I am clear about is this, I have no desire or plans  to be a Bishop but  If the Church of England is very middle class, then I of course will serve these people to the best of my ability and encourage them in faith on their journey with God, but also clear in mind is this man I have come to know, who’s name is Jesus. He served and worked with those on the fringes of society, he worked with the poor, the sick, the sinners, he washed the feet of his disciples there was no one beyond the open arms of Christ. If I am to truly answer the call of God, I have to be prepared to serve him anywhere and at anytime, to anyone and anybody and so if by eating smart price sausage and beans, enjoying Keith Harris and Orville and by reading  red top newspapers is my pathway of preparation for the journey ahead then so be it,  

In Christ with you all,

Alex.

Tick Tock

Hello and peace be with you,

Well as the days and weeks zoom by the reality of the future draws closer and closer although to  others they can’t quite believe I don’t already have my dog collar, a church, and a leafy lane Parish to take care of.

There are two questions I am posed more than any others, the first being, Aren’t you a Vicar yet? And what made you want to become a Vicar? I think I have addressed the latter in previous blogs, but the first, Aren’t you a Vicar yet has a more simpler answer, NO !

However it feels close enough to occasionally be frightened to death but at the same time far enough away to be relaxed and unconcerned about the future. People (mainly third year Ordinands) tell me that being a second year Ordinand is a ‘good’ place to be, no decisions to be made, no clergy frocks to order, no essay deadlines to hit! Yeah right if only.

The time of ‘Vicar training’ is also referred to as a time of formation, and I often wonder what that looks like, what is the tangible evidence to convince myself and others that I am becoming a man worthy of such a respectable and distinguished position as a man of the cloth. On the instruction of ‘her indoors’ I went to a works do and seriously let my very short hair down! Part of me had decided to enjoy the posh tea and quietly slip away for prayers and a early night. But with instructions from home ringing in my ears I did the opposite and consumed full bottle of beer, indulged in a posh pudding and headed for the dance floor with an old work mate who had considerably more energy than me and a lot, lot more rhythm than my good self. I danced myself in a state of exhaustion and was ready to gracefully leave the arena, when I was inspired for ‘round two’ by the pop star, Alexandra Burke who I am sure had been reasonably funded to entertain a large group of Retail Managers! Not being huge Burket…. I tried to sing along and give the impression I knew every word to every song. As she sang Hallelujah, I raised my arms to praise the lord and displayed my crucifix on the outside of my cravat and passionately swayed with pride as the crowd sung along.

As I got back to my room, high on nothing other than adrenalin, I sat on the bed removed my very sweaty dinner suit, and sat on the bed and reflected what a very pleasant evening I had enjoyed with some delightful company.I reflected on some of the conversations I had during the day and night. I would never ever break a confidence, but there was enough in a few moments of words and concerns from others for me to understand a little more about the time and period of formation I am experiencing.  

As I sat on my bed I looked across at the unoccupied single bed opposite, and among the defrocked dinner jacket and shirts, the deodorant, the dirty clothes and the spare socks and knickers (thats what we call them in our house) was my daily prayer book. This little hardback maroon book has become a bit a companion, it seems to never be far away from my side, It often lives on the kitchen table, or somewhere around the house, getting under Sarah’s feet but never far away from me.

Feeling rather fatigued from my John Travolta exploits sleeping was probably the preferred option to praying but a little part of me just wouldn’t allow myself to retire for the night without spending some time in prayer, and so I hit page  333 of my prayer book to ‘do’ Compline!

The prayers were private, but in those few moments I learnt a little something new about myself, a little something I may have known already but something I certainly know now. My life is heading in a different direction, by Gods will, I shall become an Ordained person in the spring of 2015, and between now and then I shall continue to be prepared for the many years of serving Christ as a Deacon, Priest and then Vicar, I shall be ‘formed’ as a priestly person!

So what is ‘formed’? Well if it is changing ones personality, losing ones sense of humor, being offended by a swear word or two or maybe taking exception when the word Jesus or God is used out of context, then  it aint happening. But if it is about, listening, responding, encouraging, reading, learning, teaching, loving, holding, rejoicing, friendship, laughing, crying and praying then I concede that through the love of our Lord Jesus Christ I am slowly but surely being ‘formed’ into the person God wants when the day of Ordination finally arrives.

As the ‘tick’ ‘tocks’ people say they see it, they hear it they feel it, and with humility trust me when I say that is both humbling and incredibly moving. The journey is hard, the road is long, the experience is just wonderful, in a rare ‘night off’ from the way of life, I  found people I could express love and joy to, whilst downing tools, letting my very short hair down and remaining absolutely committed and incredibly proud of my discipleship to God the three in one.

Peace and Love brothers and sisters

Alex